Episode 717: Men and shame

In this solo episode, I’m unpacking the silence, the rage, and the tension showing up in conversations around the Epstein files and patriarchy. The idea came to me after I got a thinly veiled death threat in my DM’s a couple of weeks ago (you can scroll through the carousel of memes I posted in the link below to see it). I’m exploring what’s underneath the harassment, the absence/silence of men in certain spaces, and why shame is such a powerful, and often invisible, force in all of it.

I also want to remind you that I’m on Substack! It’s not perfect over there, but I decided to start before I was ready. You can check out some of my writing and subscribe HERE. No paywall as of now, but that may change later as I write more. I have no plans to put the podcast behind a paywall though! 

What you’ll hear in this solo episode: 

• When systems are exposed, identities feel threatened and shame gets activated.
• The difference between and shame and guilt, and how it’s organized by gender
• Shame shows up as silence, defensiveness, or aggression.
• Patriarchy shames everyone, it just looks different for men and women.
• Questions you can ask the men in your life to start having important conversations with them. 
• Accountability requires learning how to feel shame without collapsing or lashing out.

This isn’t about defending men or attacking them. It’s about understanding the emotional dynamics at play. Because if we don’t name the shame woven into our culture, we’ll keep reacting to surface behavior instead of addressing the root.

Resources from this episode:
Devotion program
Andrea’s Substack, How Very Human of You
Sign up for my emails
Instagram reel about men and shame Instagram reel that contains a terrible message from a random man on the internet
Four Holy Emotions episode on Spotify
Documentaries I mentioned

Book recommendations:
I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!

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