Projection with psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clark

Feb 5, 2026

Ryan Bennett-Clark, a UKCP psychotherapist with 20+ years in mental health, explains projection as a defence and its roots in childhood containment. They explore spotting projection in emails, relationships and online, ways to respond with curiosity, links to envy and gaslighting, and how schools and therapy can reduce habitual projecting.

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INSIGHT

Projection As A Defence Mechanism

Projection is a defence that disowns parts of ourselves by locating them in others.
Ryan Bennett-Clark explains it helps people tolerate unbearable impulses by splitting and projecting them out.

INSIGHT

Childhood Containment Shapes Projection

Early caregiving shapes whether we integrate or project difficult feelings into adulthood.
Without containment, people stay stuck in splitting and project good or bad onto others.

ADVICE

Hand Back Projections Physically Or Mentally

When someone projects onto you, make the projection conscious and mentally return it to them.
Try writing a letter to hand back the unwanted feelings and destroy it to reclaim your body and boundaries.

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In the spring of 2020, I got a letter. It was, quite possibly, the worse letter I’ve ever got and I’ve had a few. It was full of bile and unhappiness, unfair and harsh. I recognised immediately that the letter writer was talking about herself and projecting onto me but that didn’t stop it hurting because I realised in that moment that the letter writer would never accept responsibility for her own behaviour and always make it someone else’s fault: primarily mine. So I decided to move out of her way so that, hopefully, her beam of dissatisfaction with life could be aimed elsewhere.

Projection is a defence mechanism. It’s used when people cannot bear certain aspects of themselves and project them onto others. We all do it to a degree (none of us is perfect!) but some people do it habitually and without ever looking at their own place in things. It’s the subject of this podcast where I talk to psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clarke about what exactly it is, how to recognise it and how to deflect it so that each person deals with their own behaviour. If you’ve ever left a meeting with someone feeling utterly drained and crap about yourself the chances are that person is projecting something not-positive onto you. You’re going to love this podcast, and I hope you find it fabulously useful in every day life.

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Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.

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