Why You Don't Feel Like "Enough" as a Daughter with Dr. Allison Alford

If you've ever felt like no matter how much you do for your family, it's still not enough, this episode is for you. Dr. Allison Alford, who holds a PhD in Communication Studies with a concentration in Interpersonal Communication from The University of Texas at Austin, is here to name the invisible labor so many daughters carry, and help us explore how to untangle our worth from sacrifice and reclaim what healthy daughtering can look like.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The four types of daughtering work: doing, feeling, thinking, and being
• Why emotional labor with family can quietly drain your energy and reserves
• How to shift from obligation to choice in your role as a daughter
• A step-by-step approach to setting boundaries without immediately creating conflict
• How to define your own "rubric" for what being a good daughter means

About the guest:

Allison Alford is a clinical associate professor in the Department of Information Systems and Business Analytics. She holds a PhD in Communication Studies with a concentration in Interpersonal Communication from The University of Texas at Austin. Alford has 17 years' experience teaching university courses and her specialties are value propositions, conflict resolution techniques, teamwork, meeting facilitation and people-skills for leaders. Alford is active in the Association for Business Communication and National Communication Association.

Connect with Dr. Allison Alford:

• Book: Good Daughtering: The Work You've Always Done, the Credit You've Never Gotten, and How to Finally Feel Like Enough: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Daughtering-Always-Credit-Finally/dp/0063436426
• Website: https://daughtering101.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daughtering101/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daughtering101
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Daughtering101/61564467700155/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allisonalford/

00:00 Feeling Like You're Never Doing Enough for Your Family 00:54 Meet Dr. Allison Alford + What "Daughtering" Means 03:36 How Daughtering Changes in Adulthood (and Why It Stays Invisible) 07:40 Family Scripts, Unspoken Rules, and Why Patterns Feel Hard to Break 10:15 Why She Researched Daughtering: The Origin Story + 10 Years of Interviews 13:12 What Women Say Daughtering Is: Hosting, Protecting Feelings, and Not Feeling Seen 16:56 The 4 Types of Daughtering Work: Doing, Feeling, Thinking, Being 23:57 From Obligation to Choice: Making the Invisible Visible and Recalibrating 25:32 Start With 'Narrating' Before You Set Boundaries 28:31 From Awareness to Action: Asking for What You Want 30:01 Who This Advice Is For (and When to Get Extra Help) 31:25 The 'Family CEO' Role: Invisible Labor, Real Value 34:30 Perfectionism & 'Never Enough': Create Your Daughtering Rubric 37:03 Plant the Flag: Beta-Test New Limits Without Guilt 39:25 New Traditions That Fit Your Life (Not Just the Default) 42:46 About the Book + Why This Work Matters for Future Generations 46:16 Where to Find More + Final Takeaways

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Intro/Outro Music: Rescue Me (Instrumental) by Aussens@iter (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/tobias_weber/57990 Ft: Copperhead

Disclaimer

All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.