Psychology In Seattle Podcast Limerence Deep Dive (Chapter 12 - Emails)
Jan 23, 2026
Dive into the fascinating world of limerence, where an anonymous listener shares their 17-month obsession with a co-worker. Explore how unexpected attractions can arise from timing and trauma. The discussion highlights the addictive nature of limerence and its differences from typical infatuation. Personal anecdotes illustrate the confusing feelings that accompany this experience, emphasizing the role of ambiguity and inconsistent signals in intensifying desire.
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Listener's Limerence Story
- An anonymous listener describes seven to seventeen months of crippling limerence after a painful breakup and inconsistent reciprocity at work.
- Kirk Honda reads and uses the story to illustrate typical limerence development and triggers.
Triggers Can Prime Sudden Limerence
- Limerence can appear suddenly toward someone previously unnoticed, often after relational trauma or a breakup primes vulnerability.
- Kirk Honda suggests timing, trauma, and circumstance can 'tickle' the brain's bonding/addiction systems into limerence.
Bodega Fixation Memory
- Kirk recounts a decades-old personal moment of inexplicable fixation on a customer while working a bodega job.
- He uses it to show how limerence-like states can feel distinct from ordinary sexual attraction.