Real Recovery Talk 144 - Importance of sponsorship and why you might want to do the work the first time - with John S.
"I remember looking in the bathroom mirror and saying to myself, 'You're an alcoholic because you are drinking just like your old man.' " -John S.
Ben and I are chatting with John S., who is a "real alcoholic" in his words. We are going to talk to John about sponsorship, which he is very adamant about. Our group chat will also dive into the differences between privately run and not-for-profit run treatment centers.
John is a "real alcoholic" who was born in New Orleans, which is the drinking city of the world, where you can purchase drive-through alcohol. His father was a "beer-drinking alcoholic who loved to fight." He was unfaithful to his wife and cheated when playing games. His parents divorced around age 5, as his dad was very abusive.
He started drinking casually in high school and remembered that he was always the guy pushing the alcohol on everybody during high school games. During college, he joined a fraternity and continued to drink, however, he didn't finish college. Even with drinking full-time, he never received a DUI.
In addition to drinking, he added cocaine to his addiction in the mid-'80s. Since he was a functioning alcoholic, John was able to land a good banking job, making good money. He purchased a home and a lovely car with his new salary. He was living the good life until he was rear-ended by a dump truck and wasn't able to work because of damage to his spine and his neck.
Now at home full-time, he started drinking more during the day as he was home alone. Drinking was an escape for his pain and suffering from his accident and subsequent surgeries. He would hide his alcohol in different places within his home and drink straight from the bottles. John would drink a little bit from each bottle, however, his partner only knew of one bottle he was drinking, so he didn't understand how much he was drinking. His doctor and his therapist didn't think he was an alcoholic.
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Show Notes:
- [04:38] John talks about his story, his path to alcoholism and his recovery.
- [07:05] He started drinking during his high school years.
- [08:56] John's mom remarried and moved, thinking that a geographical change would help her son.
- [10:23] His story of being rear-ended by a dump truck and the resulting effects.
- [13:36] John's friends who were in AA would try to get John to come to meetings.
- [15:54] The point at which his partner told him he needed to go to treatment.
- [18:30] His first night in a treatment center in Salt Lake City, UT.
- [22:24] Hiding bottles from himself, his partner and his family.
- [24:00] John started helping people the first day he was in recovery.
- [33:30] His take on relating to other people who were alcoholic, but not successful in life.
- [39:56] He talks about his "sponsees" in the program.
- [41:29] He and his person he has sponsored are total opposites but have a strong friendship.
- [46:19] John talks about his current living situation and sobriety.
- [51:51] Alcoholism as a progressive illness and relapse.
- [55:45] How desperation sets people apart.
- [58:44] John talks about how he came into Rock Recovery Center spiritually and morally bankrupt but came out the other end a whole person.
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