No Stupid Questions 68. Why Do We Want What We Can’t Have?
Sep 26, 2021
Delve into the psychology of longing for the unattainable and its ties to envy and self-doubt. The discussion reveals how ambition intertwines with admiration through personal anecdotes and ancient parables. Explore the complexities of tribalism in modern society, addressing feelings of exclusion and social hierarchies faced by minority communities. Insights into human nature reveal how our evolutionary past shapes contemporary interactions, emphasizing self-acceptance to counteract divisive group dynamics.
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Envy and Admiration
- Stephen Dubner finds expressed envy unattractive but appreciates admiration for others' work, using Michael Lewis as an example.
- He contrasts this with dismissive comments, suggesting they mask deeper envy.
Envy and Self-Loathing
- Angela Duckworth admits feeling envious of Adam Grant's accomplishments.
- She experiences this envy followed by self-loathing for feeling it.
The Stonecutter Parable
- Stephen Dubner shares a Zen parable about a stonecutter who constantly envies those more powerful.
- The stonecutter eventually becomes a rock, envied by another stonecutter, highlighting the cyclical nature of envy.