Better Sex #37: Lara Currie - Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations as an opportunity?
Challenge as an opportunity? Listen as Lara describes the context of conflict. She discusses how the components of assumption, judgment and expectation lead to a reaction.
Tune in to the Body’s Signal
What is the significance of the physical reaction to an impending conflict? Hear Lara describe the mental and physical connection between emotions and conflict.
Two Triggers
An emotional trigger can make people think of a violent event. Rather Lara focuses on triggered reactions in conflict situations. Listen as Lara discusses how triggered reactions that are our habits and patterns, can result in negative outcomes.
Desire Paths
Hear Lara illustrate the importance of Desire paths and the connection to our own emotional patterns. She discusses the connection between reactions and our own emotional connections and past.
Raising self-awareness in order to be prepared
What does self-awareness have to do with assumptions and preparation for a conflict? The seemingly preordained assumption follows with an associated judgment that leads to an expectation. Hear Lara describe how these emotional perspectives are connected and lead us into patterns.
After-action review
Hear Lara talk about a realistic methodology in order to assess conflict to improve future situations. After allowing for an emotional cooldown, Lara suggests reflecting on the outcome, what happened before the outcome and what the assumptions were leading up to the situation. And importantly for future improvement, “How would I like to act or react differently next time so that this type of scenario doesn’t happen again?”
An Example of Personal Conflict
Listen as Lara provides an example of a couple having difficulty in their relationship and what she suggests in order to better improve their situation. Communication and reflection provide two of the key ways to improve the situation. Hear Lara describe how the individuals in this situation can improve their relationship. Is curiosity important in this situation? Lara says yes, hear why.
After Action Review
In conflict, but not having a conflict? What are the signals in your own body that tell you something is wrong? Join in as Lara describes protective emotions that signal the presence of conflict.
Conflict Personality Types
Hear Lara describe four of the main different conflict personality types and how these personality types can show up actively and passively during a conflict.
Listen as Lara gives examples and describes at length these four conflict personality types: the Pleaser-Fixer, the Victim-Blamer, the Perfectionist-Controller, and the Innocent-Avoider. Learn how each of these affects conflict and communication in interpersonal scenarios.
Self-Reflection and Awareness
Listen to Lara discuss how recognizing your own conflict personality type can help you reflect in order to improve communication in future conflict situations.
Deconstruction of Conflict – Communicating in the Emotional Language
How do you feel? Lara emphasizes the connection between learning and communicating. She describes the three main ways that people learn as kinesthetically, auditorily and doing. And then she connects these elements to demonstrate how to improve communication and emotional interactions based on these learning preferences.
Avoiding Escalation
Is it as simple as going outside or taking a walk? Lara offers some simple advice to help couples improve communication.
About Lara Currie
Lara Currie is an interpersonal conflict resolution specialist with over 25 years of experience in high conflict positions. Author of the book “Difficult Happens”, Lara has a unique perspective assisting business owners and professionals improve interpersonal relationships in the workplace in order to best achieve a client’s goals and business objectives. She has a passion for empowering individuals to create positive and profound connections in order to live with less stress to ensure the best success.
Her understanding of interpersonal dynamics in difficult situations enables her clients to better navigate tumultuous situations with curiosity and self-reflection that allow clients to Prepare for, Recognize and Navigate difficult people and topics.
Links and How to contact Lara Currie
Books by the Author: Currie, L. (2017). Difficult Happens.
More information: https://laracurrie.com/
More info:
Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/
Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/
If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast
Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman
https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
More info and resources:
Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast
Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast
How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com
The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com
The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com
Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com
Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass
Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe