Listener question: how do I know?

Listener question: I think i have a strong tendencie to avoid situations that seem unsafe for my self-identity.  This week I had some very nice experiences with engaging with situations I usually would avoid.

There was curiosity but still it took so much effort to try and see what happens if I don't hide in my "safe space". So my first question is: will it get easier? 

Also I wonder: how can I tell the difference between avoiding things because my self identity feels threatened, and just needing time for my self? Because as you beautifully said the mind can be quite sneaky. Every time I want to avoid situations my mind tells me that I just need some time for myself. If I try to engage with a situation anyways it often happens that I get strong physical symptoms that kind of force me to stay at home and to stay in my safe space.

So I guess my second question is:

How can I know if I actually need time at home/time for myself? And how can I know if my mind does just it's sneaky thing?

Sorry for the long unstructured questions. Am I making any sense?