Godsplaining How can Christians disagree and still love deeply?
Mar 26, 2026
Two friars explore how to disagree with charity while seeking truth. They recount formative debate memories and recommend a mindset of conversion, not conquest. Practical tips include prayerful preparation, steel-manning opposing views, and spotting bad-faith exchanges. They caution against performative online arguing and emphasize humility, clarity, and knowing when to disengage.
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Disagreement As Conversion Toward Truth
- Disagreement is part of conversion toward truth, not a battle to dominate.
- Fr. Gregory frames debates as mutual formation where we displace self-centered views to conform our minds to God’s reality.
Breathe Before You Debate
- Take a deep breath and treat disagreements as normal parts of life rather than identity threats.
- Fr. Gregory advises relying on habits of prayer and study so one conversation doesn't define your whole formation.
Enter Their Mind Before Responding
- Steelman the other person's view by inhabiting their presuppositions before replying.
- Fr. Bonaventure points to Thomas Aquinas's disputation model: state objections, then reply while respecting real points.
