Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

How to Matter—To Yourself and Others (Jennifer B. Wallace)

8 snips
Jan 29, 2026
Jennifer B. Wallace, journalist, author, and founder of the Mattering Institute, explores what makes people feel seen and relevant. She breaks down the SED framework—significance, appreciation, investment, dependence—and discusses practical rituals, invitation and vulnerability, and ways to scaffold connection so people feel truly noticed.
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INSIGHT

Mattering Drives Behavior

  • Feeling like you matter predicts how people will show up: engaged or enraged.
  • Lack of mattering fuels withdrawal, substance abuse, political extremes, and violent acts as attempts to prove worth.
ANECDOTE

From Sanitation Worker To Harvard

  • Rehan moved from sanitation worker to Harvard Law after people repeatedly invested in him and refused to let him be defined by circumstances.
  • His story highlights 'ego extension' where others' successes become part of your own sense of worth.
ADVICE

Repair Mattering In Transitions

  • Use the mattering lens to identify exactly which element (seen, relied on, prioritized, attuned, invested) was lost in a transition.
  • Then act: seek role models, accept invitations, and issue invitations to rebuild your sense of mattering.
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