The Happiness Podcast 26 - The Lost Ability to Love
Nov 8, 2019
A critique of how childhood conditioning turns approval, success and fame into addictions. Short scenes examine how craving applause and reputation gives others power and causes withdrawal. Reflections on how needing approval blinds us and erodes genuine love for others.
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Raised On Approval Like A Drug
- Anthony de Mello compares society's upbringing to injecting a child with heroin, arguing we were raised on approval instead of healthy nourishment.
- He describes withdrawal: craving affirmation and becoming emotionally dependent after being 'drugged' by praise and success.
Approval And Success Create Emotional Dependency
- De Mello identifies approval, success, money, fame, and reputation as the specific 'drugs' that make us feel temporarily euphoric.
- He explains applause and affirmation create a giddy dependency that people then chase throughout life.
Stop Seeking Constant Approval
- Avoid basing self-worth on others' approval because craving affirmation causes withdrawal and restlessness when withheld.
- Stop seeking constant reassurance to prevent emotional dependence and regain the capacity to love without need.