The Art of Charm

Modern Dating Is Broken | Paul Eastwick

65 snips
Jan 19, 2026
Guest
Paul Eastwick
Paul Eastwick, a social psychologist and relationship expert, dives into the failings of modern dating. He explains how online dating distorts our perceptions of desirability and the pitfalls of seeking a perfect match. Paul discusses the importance of real connections forged through shared experiences rather than algorithms. The conversation highlights how compatibility is built, not found, and encourages a shift from marketplace thinking in relationships. With insights on the friend zone and the need for genuine social interactions, this discussion is a valuable guide for navigating love in the digital age.
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INSIGHT

Cheap Rejection Changes Behavior

  • Apps make rejection cheap and erode kindness toward strangers.
  • Eastwick notes in-person interactions carry greater social cost and often produce kinder behavior.
ANECDOTE

Festival Judged By Follower Count

  • Johnny described being judged at a festival by follower counts when people learned he had social media.
  • He found that instant valuation by followers felt bizarre and generationally new.
INSIGHT

Authenticity Can't Be Outsourced

  • AI and polished online personas amplify inauthenticity and risk outsourcing dating skills.
  • Eastwick argues authentic feelings form only through time interacting with real people.
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