The Gray Area with Sean Illing The price of keeping secrets
Jul 18, 2022
In this intriguing talk, Michael Slepian, a Columbia Business School professor and author of 'The Secret Life of Secrets', delves into the psychology of secret-keeping. He explores why we conceal certain truths and the emotional toll it takes, including feelings of shame and isolation. The conversation highlights how secrecy can impact trust and relationships, the delicate balance between privacy and betrayal, and the liberating nature of sharing hidden truths. Slepian also emphasizes the importance of choosing the right confidant to foster deeper connections.
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Motivation for Secrecy
- People keep secrets to protect themselves, others, or relationships.
- Sometimes, revealing a secret is beneficial, even if it seems risky.
Harmful Secrets
- Secrets involving shame and identity hurt the most due to rumination.
- Shift negative self-evaluation to the past behavior (guilt) for healthier processing.
Secrecy vs. Privacy
- Privacy involves sharing information selectively with close individuals.
- Secrecy involves intentionally withholding information even when asked, regardless of closeness.
