The Dissenter

#1214 Paul Eastwick: The Science of Love and Connection

Feb 12, 2026
Paul Eastwick, a UC Davis psychology professor who studies attraction and close relationships, discusses the science behind bonding. He explores compatibility, why humans evolved to form attachments, limits of dating apps and market metaphors, misconceptions from evolutionary stories, and the harms of manosphere thinking. He highlights proximity, vulnerability, and real interactions as drivers of lasting connection.
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INSIGHT

Apps Turn Dating Into A Marketplace

  • Dating apps create a market mindset that exaggerates mate-value hierarchies.
  • Eastwick contrasts this with ancestral small-group environments favoring compatibility over ranking.
ADVICE

Use Proximity To Find Partners

  • Prioritize proximity: spend time with neighbors, coworkers, and friends-of-friends to increase chance encounters.
  • Paul Eastwick recommends in-person networks over endless swiping on apps.
INSIGHT

Compatibility Is A Unique Pairwise Spark

  • Compatibility is the unique connection remaining after removing general popularity and selectivity effects.
  • Eastwick frames compatibility as the special 'spark' some pairs share that others do not.
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