James van Cuylenburg - What’s Your Relationship Status?

10 snips

Jan 26, 2025

James van Cuylenburg, a clinical psychologist and cousin of Hugh and Josh, dives deep into the intricacies of relationships. He discusses attachment styles and how they shape our connections. James tackles the importance of communication and emotional independence while navigating intimacy. He provides tips for parents on discussing pornography with their kids, emphasizing trust. The conversation highlights the significance of empathy in heartbreak and cherishing all types of connections in life.

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INSIGHT

Selflessness in Relationships

Relationships thrive on selflessness, not selfish needs.
Focus on your partner's well-being; mutual selflessness creates a strong bond.

INSIGHT

Relationships Evolve

Relationships constantly evolve; they're not static.
Adapt and change together to maintain a healthy connection.

ANECDOTE

Delayed Discussions

Ryan and his partner had a disagreement that couldn't be immediately resolved.
He suggests waiting until emotions subside before discussing sensitive issues.

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It’s our last episode of Summer School, and today we welcome back clinical psychologist (and “clinical cousin” of Hugh and Josh), James van Cuylenburg.

In this episode, James tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about our relationships… well almost everything…there’s a lot to cover.

From attachment styles, to breaking trust, to learning how to own your feelings and navigating coupledom through life’s changing seasons.

Getting into the nitty gritty, Hugh asks James about intimacy and what happens when you’re not…. having any. And how to start a conversation with your kids about pornography.

Relationships make life worth living and whether they’re with an intimate partner, a friend, or yourself, they should be cherished and treated with care.

James, we thank you for your guidance.

If you liked this episode, and wanted to do some further reflection on it, each week our Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter shares a question to get you thinking deeper. We’d love to hear from you, so please send your reflections in to the link provided. Subscribe here!

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3WwDguJ

🎧Things to listen to

James’ new podcast (that he makes with ANOTHER van Cuylenburg) You’re a Good Kid - https://apple.co/3E54MZR
James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://apple.co/3UYXmgt
Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://apple.co/3Af9OB6
Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3RNKpEm

📖 Things to read

Attached by Dr Amir Levine and Rachel S.F Heller M.A - https://amzn.to/3EeVDhe

💻Things to check out

Teach Us Consent Website - https://bit.ly/3QVhlK0
Three Sided Pillar (triangle of happiness) - https://bit.ly/42kntmc

🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence or coercive control, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call 000.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.