Sons of Patriarchy Healing from Evangelicalism
Sep 8, 2025
Michelle Moffitt, a psychotherapist and founder of Five Oaks Counseling, shares her journey escaping the constraints of a conservative church. She discusses the trauma of being a pastor's wife and the emotional isolation faced when seeking help. Moffitt emphasizes the importance of trusting one’s intuition and finding trauma-informed therapists. She offers practical advice for people leaving high-control religious systems, advocating for community support and gradual exposure to new ideas. Ultimately, she encourages embracing complexity and learning to trust oneself.
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Reporting Abuse Led To Isolation, Not Support
- Michelle shares how isolation and leaders' inaction followed her reports of domestic violence, leaving her without community or resources.
- After her husband lost the pastor role, their financial supports vanished and she chose to move back to Seattle and eventually divorce.
Use Small Experiments To Rebuild Trust
- Experiment with small boundary tests (like trying a swear word or new drink) to see you survive uncertainty and reclaim choice.
- Use these safe experiments to rebuild trust in your intuition and body signals.
Don't Rely On Church Courts For Safety
- If a church system harms you, avoid their internal court and do not submit to unhelpful meetings or authority that retraumatizes you.
- Seek legal advice or outside support instead and recognize the system may protect itself over you.
