Better Sex #35: [Personal Story] Marina - Journey of Liberation
A personal story of sexual liberation
In this episode, I talk to Marina, who shares her personal journey from struggles with her self-image and a painful first sexual experience, to finally feeling liberated with a happier sex life.
The first time: a painful experience
As a teenager, Marina tells us that she struggled with self-image and was therefore excited when, at age sixteen, a “cool kid” from another school showed interest in her.
Listen in as Marina shares her first sexual experience with him and the devastating consequences that affected her for years afterward. She shares her conflicting feelings at the time of the encounter, being unsure but caught in an uncomfortable situation.
Drunk sex and the noise in my head
Marina tells us she didn’t realize how devastated she had been and how painful that first sexual experience had been for her, for years to come. In these years, Marina tells us that all of her sexual encounters were under the influence of alcohol or something else because it was too painful for her to experience them sober.
We hear how she describes the noise in her head and how it would perpetuate her feeling disgusted in her body. She couldn’t understand why any man would want her. Listen in to hear in her own words how this affected her.
Relationships
Marina would come to realize in a counseling session, how impactful her first sexual experience was for her, but in the meantime tells us that even with her first husband she would need to be drunk to have sex.
She shares her second marriage is when she started having sober sex, but was still uncomfortable and not ready to experiment. Tune in to learn how this affected her second marriage.
Your feelings come from your thinking
Prior to splitting up with her second husband, Marina had a breakthrough moment where she realized how much she was overthinking during sex. She tells us how going to seminars, reading and working on herself, calmed all the noise in her head.
She came to realize that, “Your feelings come from your thinking, not from your circumstances or other people”. Gradually, this led to her becoming more comfortable being sober in bed.
Tinder Romance
We hear how Marina started to realize that her body was beginning to crave sex. She turned to Tinder and was matched with a man she felt comfortable experimenting with...and enjoyed it!
Join us as she shares how she feels more in tune with her own body and explains how much of a liberation this journey to self-awareness has been.
Words of advice and encouragement
There are two books, in particular, Marina mentions that have revolutionized the way she thinks about sex. “The New Rules of Sex” by Lauren Brim and “Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer.
She also suggests starting the conversation about sex with friends, which was what first got Marina thinking about masturbating and exploring her body without feeling shameful. Sex can be a taboo topic but Marina tells listeners to get curious about your own beliefs and consider how much you may be overthinking sex.
The Joy of Being
Marina suggests we tune in to her podcast: The Joy of Being, where she discusses how we can lead a more joyful and pleasure-led life. Her final thoughts: “Be open to change. You never know how you may feel until you try it”.
Links and How to Reach Marina
Website - http://marinapearson.com/
Podcast - http://marinapearson.com/podcast/
Books
“The New Rules of Sex” by Lauren Brim - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MIBTMDK/
“Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GUIKYLA/
More info:
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Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/
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