AEE 299: 4 Topics that You Should NEVER Discuss in a First English Conversation

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Jessica is the author of Hopeful Disasters where she explores dating in New York City.

She is also an ESL teacher in New York City.

Check out her blog here!

When you meet someone for the first time in English, whether it’s a date or just a first-time meeting with a friend or colleague, there are certain topics that you should NEVER discuss.

Today you’ll find out what they are with our favorite AEE dating consultant, Jessica Coyle.

A few weeks ago we talked about what four things you SHOULD talk about on a first date in English or at a first meeting but today we’ll show you what you should avoid.

4 Topics to AVOID on a first date or first meeting in English:

• Politics: You can casually mention your political interests but don’t get drawn into a political debate or discussion. Jessica calls this “quicksand” because you can start to sink and you’ll get stuck and you won’t be able to get out of it. It’s better to bring up this topic once you already know someone well and after you know their triggers well.
• Age: You should definitely avoid asking the person their exact age. Also, this means that you should not ask people about their timeline in terms of when they want to get married or have kids. It’s too direct and too intense for a first date or first conversation. You might terrify the person if start asking these questions too early.
• Religion: You probably have a rough idea of your date’s religion and it will be important later but it’s too personal to get into during a first date. It’s ok to share your own religion if you want to but don’t ask the person directly what their religion is.
•  Education: This is tricky. Jessica says that the goal in not asking this question is to avoid coming off as arrogant or judgmental. If you ask the person where they went to school or how many degrees they have, it will be clear that you are fishing for information regarding their intelligence or social status. You might make the other person feel bad if you ask this question. Try to figure out if there is an intellectual connection instead.

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