ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka

EP. 380: Smart, Capable… and Still Struggling with Friendship? Let’s Talk (with Caroline Maguire)

28 snips
Apr 15, 2026
Caroline Maguire, coach and author who teaches friendship skills for neurodivergent people. She breaks friendship into learnable stages and signs. Short takes on why trust is a track record, what a participationship looks like, how long friendships need to 'bake', and using high-interest activities to find the right people.
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INSIGHT

Impulsive Friendship Cycle Causes Rapid Trust

  • ADHD brains often prefer fast emotional connection and can mislabel acquaintances as friends via an impulsive friendship cycle.
  • Maguire explains we give trust away quickly after a dopamine-fueled “zing” and then feel rejected when expectations aren’t met.
ADVICE

Trust Is Built From Track Record Not Feelings

  • Treat trust as a track record and watch actions over time before sharing deeply or expecting reciprocity.
  • Caroline advises looking for whether someone shows up next time you need them and rewards mutual give-and-take.
ADVICE

Use 60 Hours To Bake A Friendship

  • Aim for roughly 60 hours or 11 interactions of quality time to move an acquaintance into a true friend.
  • Maguire counts consistent 30-minute weekly meetups and seeing someone outside the activity as key steps.
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