The Mel Robbins Podcast Harvard Business School Professor: How to Become More Confident, Influential, and Communicate Better
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May 4, 2026 
Leslie K. John, a Harvard Business School professor and behavioral scientist, dives into why undersharing may be hurting your relationships, health, and career. She explores how honesty builds trust, why silence can make people seem less credible, and how hidden feelings drain your energy. Plus, she shares simple tools for tougher conversations and deeper connection.
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Why Refusing To Answer Looks Less Trustworthy
- People usually prefer an honest revealer over someone who refuses to answer a sensitive question.
- In Leslie John's studies, 65% preferred the date who admitted past STDs, and about 89% preferred job applicants who admitted failure over applicants who opted out.
Your Brain And Body Reward Honest Expression
- Self-disclosure appears deeply rewarding and physically regulating, not merely socially risky.
- Leslie John cites brain-scan research showing disclosure activates pleasure centers, plus child studies where kids who expressed fear showed lower physiological stress.
Why Talkative People Can Still Be Undersharers
- Undersharing quietly limits closeness across friendship, romance, and work even when someone seems socially capable.
- Leslie John says talkativeness and revealing are different skills, noting extroverts can still avoid vulnerability while flexible revealers adjust openness by relationship and context.
