Overcoming Betrayal & Addiction My Sex Addict Says It's All My Fault; Is This True?
Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions from sex addicts as well as betrayed spouses to help them through some of their biggest struggles this week. One question in particular stands out. A betrayed partner has been beaten down verbally by her sex addict. She has been internalizing messaging that his actions are her fault, along with her not being physically attractive or 'good enough'. Dr. Rob and Tami offer advice for this woman and how she can seek resources to heal from the actions of her addict.
TAKEAWAYS:
[:45] My entire family is dysfunctional. I'm working on it, but as a result my daughter is an anxious mess. What can I do?
[3:50] You have to take care of yourself and set an example for your family.
[6:25] Does someone need to be in solid recovery for Dr. Eddie's recovery group?
[8:05] My addict started accusing me. Sure enough, he's acting out again with underage girls. What do I do?
[11:20] Most sex addicts aren't looking at 12 year olds! This addiction goes deeper into offending behavior.
[14:30] What resources can I use to help build trust and safety with my partner?
[18:05] What type of questions should I ask when going to a therapist for sex addiction?
[21:00] Do the feelings of shame and anxiety ever go away?
[29:20] My SA still has an enmeshment with his mother. She still treats him like a child. Is this normal?
[33:15] I'm struggling to not take his behaviors personally, despite him blaming me for his actions. How can I heal?
[39:40] Should the addict be enrolled in two different 12 step programs?
[44:20] Dr. Rob highly encourages betrayed spouses to get an STD test!
[45:15] How can I get out of my own narcissism? I lie so much to myself that I believe it.
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss
QUOTES
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"Addiction is a mental health issue. Your daughter needs to be evaluated and supported, regardless of what else is going on in the family."
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"Mental health is different. Sometimes we have to give a little more, we have to bend a little more, we have to do things we might not do when we're in addiction or recovery."
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"We sometimes look at drinking and drug use as a replacement for an anxiety problem."