The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne #10: The five steps of coming alongside (Simplicity Diary)
Jul 25, 2018
Learn about the five steps of coming alongside children when they are feeling distressed. Understand the importance of temporarily putting away distractions and physically sitting near your child. Discover the steps of throwing the grappling hook, drawing in close, and repairing or reframing to create better understanding. Explore the five steps of coming alongside in parenting to build a strong connection between parents and children.
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Notice The Distress Flare
- Distress signals from children are like SOS flares that deserve attention.
- Noticing the flare requires slowing down instead of hoping the behaviour will pass.
Change Course Immediately
- Change your immediate course and put aside tasks when a child signals distress.
- Physically come close and stop other activities to show you prioritize them.
Ask To Understand, Don't Fix
- Come alongside with curiosity rather than answers by asking, "Can you help me understand?"
- Use empathic comments like "It's hard when this happens" instead of fixing immediately.