What Healing In Grief Actually Means

— The brutal truth in grief is that the widely accepted definitions of healing, such as going back to normal, do not apply. Katherine Hatch has spent many years thinking about what "healing" actually means in grief and how this "healing" occurs. This post is about the "how" of healing, more than the "what."

She has noticed a pattern in her clients who find a way to live within their grief—these folks receive compassion and empathy (NOT pity) from those around them, whether that is from a friend or a complete stranger. In this act of witnessing and connection, their grief is allowed to exist, and the irony is in this allowing for the grief to exist, it can finally move and change and evolve. She truly believes that the key ingredient of healing is not a matter of time—it is a matter of connection and feeling as though someone feels and sees us in our experience.

And to go one step further, Katherine believes that the MOST effective and sustainable mechanism for healing (whether this is related to grief or trauma) is in feeling witnessed and seen by ourselves. There is great power in feeling witnessed by others—and there is even more settling when the parts of us that have been deeply wounded and are grieving know that WE see them and are paying attention. In essence, this is self-compassion-- a turning towards ourselves with grace and love. This is the ultimate in allowing our grief to exist, and propels healing. Those who are able to turn towards their own grief and pain and suffering with grace not only find a way to live within the experience—they usually find themselves (however surprising) living well within their experience.

Valeria interviews Katherine Hatch — MSW, LCSW, LICSW, LCSW-C is a grief therapist, advocate, and educator.

She is also the owner of Grounded Grief, a grief-focused psychotherapy practice serving humans on both coasts, as well as clinicians and communities who are building capacity to sit with grief. Katherine's passion for grief and loss began over 15 years ago during her time as a hospice volunteer. She has since worked as a clinical social worker in palliative care and hospice settings in Colorado, Oregon, and Maryland, as well as a grief and trauma psychotherapist for the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing in Washington, DC. Currently, Katherine provides individual and group sessions in her practice, as well as training consultation and facilitation. Katherine lives in Portland, Oregon with her five-year old daughter and their beloved lop-eared bunny, Snowball. Currently, she loves playing wall-ball and working on her book.

To learn more about Katherine Hatch and her work, please visit her profile on Instagram @groundedgrief.com — and also, visit her website groundedgrief.com

— This podcast is a quest for well-being, a quest for a meaningful life through the exploration of fundamental truths, enlightening ideas, insights on physical, mental, and spiritual health. The inspiration is Love. The aspiration is to awaken new ways of thinking that can lead us to a new way of being, being well.