Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Should I Have Another Baby?
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Apr 6, 2026 
Anonymous caller, a mother of twins who survived a traumatic pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, wrestles with whether to try for another child. She recounts emergency procedures, neonatal scares, and ongoing PTSD. The conversation probes if the longing is true desire or an act of defiance, and explores healing, EMDR, creating personal space, and delaying decisions while processing trauma.
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Alone Labor Followed By Newborn Heart Scare
- The birth unfolded alone during COVID with long delays, an emergency C-section, and a newborn later diagnosed with a heart defect.
- For months they lived with conflicting specialist opinions and terror until a cardiologist later offered reassuring news.
Seek EMDR To Soften Reliving The Trauma
- Do pursue EMDR to process the visceral trauma that still feels present three and a half years later.
- Esther explains bilateral stimulation can unlock memories trapped in the amygdala and soften the physical reliving.
Desire As A Shift Toward Self Care
- Wanting another child can signal a reorientation from caregiving to self-attention after years of intense parenting.
- The wish may be the first permission to ask, What do I need, not just what do they need.