Where Do We Go From Here? From Virgin vs Vixen to Grace and Consent
This episode marks the final chapter of Where Do We Go From Here? hosted by Jess, and it's centred on a deeply personal, wide-ranging conversation with long-time co-host and author Eady Jay.
At the heart of the episode is an interview about Eady's latest book, Reconstructing Sexual Ethics, a part-memoir, part-theological work that traces her journey from growing up in Australian evangelical purity culture to reimagining a Christian sexual ethic shaped by grace, consent, dignity, and justice.
The conversation moves fluidly between personal story and theological reflection, including:
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Eady's early public commitment to abstinence and the "virgin vs vixen" binary she was placed into as a teenager
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How purity culture shaped desire, shame, mental health, and expectations around marriage
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Why deconstruction alone isn't enough, and what reconstruction actually requires
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The vulnerability and risk of speaking about sex personally, not just abstractly
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Reframing Christian sexual ethics around consent, love, and lived experience
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Navigating progressive and conservative tensions without collapsing into certainty
The episode also includes the regular Thoughts & Prayers segments:
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Unsolicited Advice for Christians on Reddit, including a candid discussion about "body count," virginity, and the long shadow of purity culture
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A closing Prayer of the People, holding space for grief, justice, transition, and hope
This episode is both a farewell and a handover, honouring what this space has held while opening the door to what comes next.
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Links Mentioned / Relevant Resources-
Eady Jay's website and bio: https://evangelicaldeconstructionjourney.com
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Reconstructing Sexual Ethics (book): https://evangelicaldeconstructionjourney.com
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Patreon archive bundles: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod/collections
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Making Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr (mentioned in discussion)
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Sheila Wray Gregoire's work on consent and arousal non-concordance (referenced)
If this episode brings things up for you, you're not alone, and help is available. Healing support does not require certainty, a clear memory, or a particular story. You deserve care simply because something hurt you. Immediate and confidential support:
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) Chat online at rainn.org Available 24/7. Free, confidential, and anonymous.