Listener question : insights and good feelings

I was just listening to a podcast about how to be in the best situation to be open to insight. 

I heard, maybe incorrectly?, that you show up to whatever the situation is and bring a good feeling to it?

This has confused me a little, as firstly, I have recently seen that we are not in control anyway, so how can we control the feeling we bring to something? 

And secondly, my brother has just had a cancer diagnosis, is it actually possible to bring a good feeling to that? I can see how I can ‘choose’ not to entertain the thoughts that pass through, add to them or catastrophise. But bringing a ‘good’ feeling to the situation seems like a doing rather than a being? If any of that makes sense? 

I just wondered what your take was on this, I keep hearing that we are not in control and this felt like a bit of a contradiction, an area that I am obviously not clear on. 

Does thought not create all feeling? I think there a space before thought? Any clarity on this would be great.