The Claire Byrne Show Real-life parenting strategies to handle meltdowns
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Mar 24, 2026 Eseult White, psychotherapist and author focused on child and family mental health, shares practical parenting strategies for tantrums and meltdowns. She covers when tantrums usually start, how to stay calm and co-regulate, handling physical behavior safely, breaking reward cycles, spotting broader stressors in older children, and when to consider professional assessment.
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Tantrums Are Dysregulation Not Defiance
- Tantrums are episodes of dysregulation, not willful misbehavior.
- Children seek autonomy before they have capacity, so meltdowns often stem from frustration, tiredness, or hunger.
Calm Yourself Then Co-Regulate With The Child
- Do calm your own breathing first and then move the child away from the chaos to soothe them.
- Sit them somewhere safe (not as punishment), say you understand, and do breathing together to co-regulate.
Don't Reward Tantrums By Giving The Item
- Avoid giving in to demands made during a tantrum because it reinforces the behavior.
- Treat tantrum-success as a reward system: if you give the item, the tantrum has communicated effectively and will repeat.