understanding your unconscious mind with psychoanalyst dr. jayce long

Feb 4, 2022

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ANECDOTE

Wakeup Call From A Partner

Molly recounts her partner telling her she was emotionally abusive, which triggered shame but also insight.
That moment sparked awareness that unconscious patterns were destroying relationships and needed change.

ADVICE

Label Feelings, Not Morality

Avoid moral language like 'good' or 'bad' for feelings and instead label them as pleasurable or painful.
Normalize all emotions to reduce toxic shame and make them useful signals rather than judgments.

INSIGHT

Shame Fosters Black-And-White Self-Judgment

Shame often organizes into global self-conclusions like "I'm bad," which traps people in black-and-white thinking.
Distinguish toxic shame from healthy remorse to enable growth rather than self-condemnation.

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n this episode, I sit down with contemporary psychodynamic psychologist Dr. Jayce Long to explore the power of the unconscious mind and how early, repressed experiences shape our adult lives. Dr. Long sheds light on how hidden memories and emotions from our past can fuel self-destructive patterns, leading to behaviors and symptoms commonly associated with various mental health struggles. Together, we dive into how these unconscious defenses impact us and how we can begin to break free. Throughout our conversation, Dr. Long addresses the impact of repression as an unconscious defense mechanism, keeping disturbing or painful thoughts at bay but ultimately driving toxic shame and self-sabotage. We discuss practical ways to work with the unconscious mind, including labeling emotions without judgment, using critical thinking to manage all-or-nothing thinking (or “splitting”), and understanding both healthy and maladaptive forms of dissociation.

We also cover:

Recognizing signs of emotional regression and age-stuck behaviors
Understanding how attachment styles, particularly disorganized ones, contribute to relationship struggles
Breaking generational cycles of trauma and healing from toxic family dynamics
Unpacking complex topics like the “paranoid-schizoid” and “depressive” positions, which help explain why we tend to label people or situations as “all good” or “all bad”
Identifying unconscious signs of emotional abuse and dealing with drama addiction
The long-term harm of childhood emotional neglect (CEN) and the need for “parental mirroring” in healthy development

Dr. Long provides guidance on acknowledging and owning our needs, working through repressed anger and grief, and moving toward self-understanding and healing. This episode is an invitation to look deeply into the unconscious mind and gain practical tools to release long-held patterns, fostering genuine growth and transformation.

Recommended resources:

YouTube Video | Decoding Mother-Infant Interaction with Dr. Beatrice Beebe

Follow Jayce on Instagram @darebeingwith

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Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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