They sent my mom away to become a good wife

Apr 29, 2026

Tracy Clark-Florey, author and memoirist who uncovers family secrets, chronicles a DNA-driven search that reveals a sister and a hidden past. She explores the history of homes for unwed mothers, shame and intergenerational trauma, critiques of marriage and patriarchal control, and the messy craft of turning personal discovery into a feminist memoir.

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ANECDOTE

Finding A Sister Decades Later

Tracy discovered she had a Black half-sister when her mother told her as a teen that she'd been sent to a home for unwed mothers in the 1960s.
The revelation was huge but then largely silenced until Tracy took a DNA test decades later and reconnected quickly with Kathy.

ADVICE

Use Adoption Registries And DNA To Reconnect

Do list yourself on adoption registries or consider DNA testing if you want to reconnect with family placed for adoption; Tracy ordered a consumer DNA test after a friend shared her discovery story.
Tracy got results within two weeks and used them to find her half-sister Kathy within hours of contact.

INSIGHT

Homes For Unwed Mothers Were Coercive Institutions

Homes for unwed mothers functioned as coercive institutions designed to hide unmarried pregnancy and push white women toward adoption and marriage.
Tracy realized her mother’s adoption was less a personal choice and more the result of systemic shame and coercion after reading histories and extensive research.

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Tracy’s newest book, My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past, is out May 5th! It’s a memoir about how a DNA test connected Tracy with her sister Kathy, who her mom placed for adoption at a home for unwed mothers in the sixties. She set out to understand their mom’s past and stumbled on a bigger story about shame, family secrets, race, and the control of women’s bodies.

In this episode, we have a behind-the-scenes chat about her memoir, including the story of how Tracy decided to take that DNA test. We also get into the book’s critique of heterosexuality, the disturbing history of homes for unwed mothers, patriarchal trauma, the importance of untangling all that we inherit from our mothers, “spiritually flailing” in the writing process, and how Tracy’s feeling publishing such an honest feminist book in an era of backlash and hyper-masculine authoritarianism.

My Mother’s Daughter, BTW, has received starred reviews from both Booklist and Kirkus, which called it, “deeply researched and lyrically written,” “trenchant and moving,” and “a powerful rejection of white-male dominated systems of oppression.” The book has been described as “tender, revelatory, and deeply moving,” by one Amanda Montei. It’s also gotten glowing blurbs from Rebecca Traister, Irin Carmon, Peggy Orenstein, Koa Beck, Chelsea Bieker, Soraya Chemaly, Savala Nolan, and lyz Lenz.

My Mother’s Daughter is officially out Tuesday May 5, but preorders mean everything to a book’s success. So please go grab a copy now! While you’re at it, get one for your mom, your sister, maybe even a man in your life, because men should also read brilliant feminist memoirs written by women.

And make sure to join Tracy at one of her upcoming IRL events:

May 5: Launch day at Mrs. Dalloway’s in Berkeley, California with Alexis Madrigal. Reserve a spot here.

May 7: Books Are Magic in Brooklyn, New York with Irin Carmon. Register here.

May 14: Green Apple Books in San Francisco, California with Savala Nolan. Register here.

May 15: Skylight Books in Los Angeles, California with Koa Beck. Register here.

Please rate us on your podcast apps and to share the episode with everyone you know, and on your socials. Especially this one. Help us make Tracy’s book a smash.

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