Communion, Healing & Desire

Feb 4, 2026

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This week, Jake and Bob reflect on a few topics that were discussed during a recent "Holy Desire" Priest's retreat with the JPII Healing Center. They discuss the connection between communion with God and the removal of pain, how woundedness redirects good desires, and why coping strategies are not usually virtuous. Jake and Bob also answer a few questions received from priests at the retreat, such as—Am I using wounds as an excuse for sin? What is the difference between soul ties and enmeshment? And should I share my wounds with my parents?

Key Points:

Healing is best understood as an ongoing encounter with God's love that restores communion and is not simply the removal of pain.
Pain relief can be a fruit of healing, but it should never become the primary goal over intimacy with God.
Broken communion is the reason we experience pain.
Wounds often lead us to develop maladaptive responses that we mistakenly elevate into "virtues."
Holy desires naturally draw us toward love and communion with God and others.
When wounds and vows press down on holy desires, those desires often emerge sideways as disordered desires.
Disordered desires are not evil at their core but are distorted expressions of something originally good.
Enmeshment reflects a lack of healthy differentiation and often develops within family systems.
Soul ties are distorted bonds that form through sin, wounds, or misplaced dependency.
Learning to recognize the good desire beneath another's behavior transforms how we relate to them.
Love grows when we respond to a person's holy desire rather than reacting to their maladaptive behavior.
Discernment, timing, and freedom of heart are essential when considering sharing one's wounds with parents.

Resources:

Principles of Catholic Theology by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger
Holy Desire Workbook (In the dropdown menu select the "Workbook" as the type)
Rick and Dick Hoyt Video
Deadly Wounds and Holy Desires Chart

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

06:34 What does "I Experienced Healing" Mean?

13:40 Can the Way I Cope with a Wound Actually be a Virtue?

18:42 How are Disordered Desires Formed?

29:36 How Do I Find the Holy Desire Behind My Sin?

35:55 Am I Treating Woundedness as an Excuse for Sin?

42:54 What is the Difference Between a Soul Tie and Enmeshment?

51:07 Should I Share My Wounds with My Parents?

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