Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast Ep 17: Mental Health Strategies for a Happy & Successful College Experience
Whether it's the first day at daycare or preschool, the beginning of kindergarten, or the transition to middle or high school, sending our kids off into the world at any age is a scary thing. But for college, it can can be downright terrifying.
According to both the experts and the people in my life, it’s the biggest leap of faith of all - especially these days with the high rates of depression and anxiety among college kids (both of which have doubled since 2014!) Luckily, there are people like Dr. Marcia Morris out there to support both our kids and ourselves. Marcia is a psychiatrist at the University of Florida and she provides mental health support both on campus and virtually for students at the university. Marcia and I sat down to talk about the best ways that parents can help their kids succeed in school, how medication may play a role in that success, and how kids can find joy in both their academic and social lives.
Here are some resources related to the topic of college students' mental health.
Learn More about Dr. Marcia Morris
The Campus Cure: A Parent's Guide to Mental Health and Wellness for College Students
College Mental Health Resources
How Colleges Today Are Supporting Student Mental Health
Student mental health is in crisis. Campuses are rethinking their approach
Before Heading to College, Make a Mental Health Checklist
Taking a Mental Health Leave from College
Gap Years
Taking a Gap Year Before Grad School
Taking a Gap Year Before College
Contact us!
Reach out to us at podcast@beyondbooksmart.com
IG/FB/TikTok @beyondbooksmartcoaching
Transcript
Hannah Choi 0:04
Hi everyone, and welcome to Focus Forward, an executive function Podcast where we explore the challenges, and celebrate the wins, you'll experience as you change your life by working on improving your executive function skills. I'm your host, Hannah Choi.
Happy New Year, everyone. We made it through another year. And I have to say I am super excited about what's to come in 2023. I'm so glad you're here with me. And I hope you continue to find this podcast useful, and relatable and easy to listen to. We're always open to new topic ideas. So if you've got anything you'd like me to explore, please reach out.
Sending our kids off into the world at any age is a scary thing. Their first day at daycare or preschool, when they start kindergarten, or transition to middle or high school. Both of my kids will be starting at new schools next year, high school for my daughter and middle school for my son. So you might want to check in on me and see how I'm doing later this fall. But I think the scariest is probably going to be when they head off to college. From what I hear from friends and family is that it's the biggest leap of faith that you'll take as a parent. And especially these days when we hear that the rates of depression and anxiety among college kids have doubled since 2014. And we have way too much access to news which can really make it seem like bad stuff is happening all the time, even though it's not. But luckily there are people like Dr. Marsha Morris out there. Marsha is a psychiatrist at the University of Florida. And she provides mental health support both on campus and virtually for students at the University. She's also written a book, which she'll talk about and she writes a blog as well. Marsha and I sat down to talk about the best ways that parents can help their kids succeed in school, how medication may play a role in that success, and how kids can find joy in both their academic and social lives.
Before I dive into this important conversation, I want to share a critical resource that everyone needs to know about the 988 suicide and crisis lifeline. This completely free service offers 24/7 Call, text and chat access to trained crisis counselors who can help people experiencing suicidal substance use and or mental health crisis or any other kind of emotional distress. People can also dial 988 If they are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support. Do not hesitate to reach out for help if you are struggling, or you suspect a loved one might be okay. Thank you for listening and now on to the show.
Hi, Marcia. Thanks so much for joining me for today's episode.
Marcia Morris, MD 3:06
I'm so glad to be here today, Hannah.
Hannah Choi 3:09
Great I'm really looking forward to this conversation about supporting college kids. My kids are are not yet ready for school or college. My daughter's my eldest is in eighth grade. But I know it's gonna happen in a blink of an eye. So could you introduce yourself to our listeners?
Marcia Morris, MD 3:26
Sure. My name is Dr. Marcia Morris. And I've worked as a college psychiatrist at the University of Florida for nearly 30 years. I became a college psychiatrist right after I finished my training. And I chose to work with university students because it's such an exciting age where so many changes are going on and people are finding out their path in life. So, but one thing that I've noticed over the years is it's kids are facing more challenges and having more mental health issues. And as a result of that, I'll mention a book I wrote for parents of college students called The Campus Cure: A Parent's Guide to Mental Health and Wellness for College Students. It really takes a team you need providers, parents, professors to all help students be successful in school. And I write a blog for Psychology Today called College Wellness: Promoting Happiness and Health and the College Years. Again, for parents who can be great facilitators and helping college students have a joyful college experience.
Hannah Choi 4:39
Before I had my kids, I worked in the Office for Students with Disabilities at a community college in Santa Barbara, California, back when I lived where it was warm year round, and, and and a lot of the work that we did was helping parents figure out how to best support their kids. And so I'm really excited to dive into that today with you. So good. Thanks. Thank you for joining me. So what are some, I mean, let's dive right in. What are some, what's some advice that you can give to parents who have kids that are heading off to college?
Marcia Morris, MD 5:16
Well, I have a an expression that is, uses four Ts. It's tell, teach, talk and take action. And the tell part is really letting your kids know that you love them, you're there for them, you support them, they can call you any time. And it's really important to say that because kids say, Oh, I go into college, I should be totally on my own, but you're a good sounding board for them. So tell them you're available, you should teach them about some of the challenges that they could face, whether it's related to availability of substances, like alcohol, and kind of setting limits for themselves, but also teach them about mental health issues. Because unfortunately, rates of depression and anxiety are going up in college. And so you, if your child is experiencing this, you want them to get help as soon as possible. So talking openly about mental health is really important teaching them about that. Talk regularly. When you go, your child goes to college, or it could be like talking on the phone doing a video chat. I know there's a lot of texting going on. But there is value to having that either phone contact or face to face contact at least once a week, if not more the first year just to see how they're doing because it's a very...the first year is a pretty vulnerable time. And take action if you think something really bad is going on. And that could be visiting your child at the school if they just sound really bad. Well, that might be the last step. The first step might be saying, Hey, I'd like to speak with your RA and check in with them and maybe talk to both of you because I I'm concerned about you. But But things can, things can be really stressful and kids can get in a vulnerable place. And sometimes kids even stopped going to class. So it's if that's happening, if something seems like your child is very depressed, it's it's time for a visit to the school. So that's the take...you hope you that that doesn't happen. Or it might be a visit that weekend to check in. It may not be that dramatic, it might be Hey, you know, you sound like you're having a tough time. I'd love to just visit over the weekend and check in. I like that. Yeah, calling every day even if you're think someone's in a bad spot. Yeah,
Hannah Choi 7:49
I like the story that you shared in your book about I think the girl was called Sarah. And just her experience, how her mom kind of went through that process that you just explained. And, and I and I really I liked, I liked hearing that story, because I felt like, I felt like she supported. She She helped her daughter both figure out how to solve it by herself and gave her some actual nice support for her as well. So
Marcia Morris, MD 8:20
right and you don't want you know, you might need to come and visit but you don't want to be there all the time. But it it it just there might be some moments in the college experience where students need more help. And hopefully, when that's happening, your student is already speaking with a therapist or a psychiatrist. And it's worthwhile encouraging your student to sign a HIPPA release of information form so that you can the you your child and the psychiatrist or the therapist can talk together and problem solving. Find out what's going to help your student get through their the crisis they might be experiencing.
Hannah Choi 9:04
And do you do you ever find in your experience where the student doesn't want the parent involved but still needs that support?
Unknown Speaker 9:16
Sometimes if someone's having a severe problem, they don't want the parents involved at the beginning. But I would say in almost all instances if things if they're not feeling better, they're more depressed, they're having trouble functioning. Most of the time they'll allow a family member or a friend and might not be the parent but they they will allow someone someone that that but so they might say oh I can handle this on my own I'm fine. And a year later they're still struggling. And they say yeah, let's call my... dad and get him involved. So but it's you can't force it on someone and legally the only way you can call a parent with about a student's consent is if there is an immediate risk of danger to self or others. And maybe twice in 30 years, I've done that it's such a rare event. And it has to be really important to talk with other people and get even legal counsel and make sure you're not overstepping the bounds of the law, because you really want to protect people's confidentiality. But most most students at some point, recognize you they can't go at it alone. If their depression is really bad, they need to involve someone else for support.
Hannah Choi 10:33
Yeah. And so that, that makes me think that the importance of maintaining a good relationship with your child when they're away at school, and so how do you what do you suggest for parents for ensuring that happen?
Unknown Speaker 10:49
Well, I have another acronym. It's love.
Hannah Choi 10:54
Oh, I love it.
Marcia Morris, MD 10:55
So the L is laugh and enjoy. And the point of that is, you have to have a good just have a fun relationship with your child, it's not always going to be fun, you're, you're not their best friend, you're still their parent, but But you have to have that enjoyment together, because they're not going to listen to you otherwise, right? You know, a show, there might be a show you watch together, if when they're home, take a walk together, it can't be all about, you need to do this.
Hannah Choi 11:22
Yeah, you need to connect with them.
Unknown Speaker 11:24
We right we have to have that initial kind of bond, this the bond makes sure there's that loving bond first before you can do anything other, otherwise, your kids aren't gonna want to listen to you. But anyways, the other thing that I think it's really important for parents to is, O, part of love observe. We can get very wrapped up in our kids, and we think they're the greatest thing on earth. And sometimes we don't see when they're having an issue or they're struggling with something, we want to think everything's good. And there are some parents who are negative and just find fault. But try to find that that happy medium of just seeing your kid seeing - Are they making friends at school? Are they Is it the end of freshman year, and they're still very lonely, and they haven't made a friend and that that's a time where you might make some try to get them connected with a counseling center or encourage them to join clubs. But are they making the development are they developing academically and socially? But see, see how you think they're doing and then then also, but validate where they're really are shining and progressing. And let's say they got a C in a class and they they took a similar class next semester, and they worked hard and got a tutor and got an A, like, say, Wow, that's so you know, I saw you do that, that's, I saw you put the effort in, that's really great. And also validate when they're, they're having a tough time. And, like, I think when I went to college, it was easier than what my kids, I just in general, less stressful than when my kids went to college. So sometimes parents have a tendency said, Oh, it wasn't that bad when I went to college, but some things are just harder. Now. It's more competitive, it's harder to get into grad school. So validate that there might be struggles, but also, the last part of love is encourage, even if they're struggling and there, you still encourage them problem solve. I use that word a lot. But problem solved. If you're really stuck, say, Listen, I want to sit down with you and look at we'll go on the website of school and let's think about what resources you can do to you know, make this work. And so that it's really important to you don't want to be totally you don't want to say goodbye or going to college. But most don't. Most parents are pretty involved now. Yeah, but but it's it's important. You don't want to be overly involved either.
Hannah Choi 14:00
Right? You have to find a good balance.
Marcia Morris, MD 14:02
Yeah, right. But but you do. I think kids need a lot of encouragement to
Hannah Choi 14:08
Yeah, I mostly work with college age students, for my executive function coaching clients. And this is all sounding very familiar to me experiencing like challenges freshman year, and then heading into sophomore year with a little bit more support, you know, from a coach or from like, mom had to step in and help a little bit and now and then they then they really start to do well with a little extra support.
Marcia Morris, MD 14:37
So right and I like you know and I your company does great coaching I know that and and sometimes there's something called Success Coaching on campus. It's not at every school but though they will they those coaches will take a look at students holistically and see how they're doing socially, academically and often they can access the grades. And sometimes students, if they're doing badly might not want to admit it. So they'll just sit with a student be very supportive and direct them, they might direct them to a different major, some kids start, it's actually I read something, at least 30% of students switch majors, at least one time, I've heard a range of statistics, but it's very common to switch majors. So they might have helped them switch majors, they might suggest a different club to join. So that guidance is so helpful.
Hannah Choi 15:38
Yeah, right, helpful. I know, I always encourage my clients take advantage of your academic advisor. Or if you qualify for services at the Disability Resource Center, go and get to know them, even if you don't go regularly just know what they offer. And, and so is that is that something that you recommend to your students as well?
Marcia Morris, MD 15:59
Absolutely, absolutely. For all the patients in our clinic, we generally encourage them to sign up for the Disability Resource Center for whether they have anxiety, depression, or ADHD. Because they you never know when they're going to need the resources. Sometimes they they register, we have to write a letter and they submit it and they register. And they may not even use it, but then there might be a point where they need it. And the accommodations could include time and a half for testing or testing in a quiet room. And then to get additional accommodations. It's more of a kind of a discussion with the Disability Resource Center about whether they can hand and work late. And and so there's Yeah, it's a process and that has benefited many students that I've worked with over the years. Yeah, very appreciative of the disability resource centers on campus.
Hannah Choi 16:57
Yeah, that was that's always my one of my first questions for anyone who might qualify for services there. Have you checked in with them? Have you gotten to know them. And I saw that a lot when I worked in, in, in the office that I worked at is sometimes some semesters kids needed it, you know, for everything and other semesters they didn't. But just having it
Marcia Morris, MD 17:20
Right, and with mental health issues, with some mental health issues, there could be an exacerbation of symptoms, ADHD, tends to be pretty steady. And you know, what kind of some of the issues are with depression, something might happen in someone's life, and they might have a more severe episode and need more accommodations at that moment. Get registered, and then going back in and, you know, adding accommodations can be very helpful. One thing I was going to suggest also is students should register at the very beginning of the year. We had talked before about how with COVID. It's sometimes it's there's students have been more overwhelmed, at least on our campus, they're accessing the disability resource center. Yeah. But so you want to get ahead of the line as much as possible. Because if you wait till the middle or end of the semester, it can be hard to get an appointment to discuss options. Yeah. And also counseling services.
Hannah Choi 18:25
Yeah, yeah. And if you, the student, are feeling overloaded or stressed, because it's midterms, you adding an additional appointment of getting to know the place is just an additional thing to do. If you've already connected with them during the time where you're not stressed out schools just beginning, then it's, it's gonna be a little easier for you won't feel like such a hurdle.
Marcia Morris, MD 18:48
That's absolutely true. Yeah.
Hannah Choi 18:51
So speaking of depression and anxiety, do you are you and COVID are you seeing a difference? Pre and Post COVID?
Marcia Morris, MD 19:00
Well, yes, absolutely. And but what's been interesting and unfortunate is the trend has been upwards even before COVID. But in 2020, there's a national survey called the Healthy Mind study that's been tracking rates of depression and anxiety on college campuses. And so, in 2021, the study found that 41% of students screened positive for depression. And that's what's actually high number and 34% for anxiety. It uses a screening test. And again, the students who might take the survey perhaps they might have more issues anyways, but yeah, nonetheless, the trend has been upward. And the rate that is that rate for depression is double what it was in 2014, and the rate of anxiety is up by 50%. So that's a huge, huge increase. And we actually, I worked with a research group and we did a study that showed the rate of depression combined with anxiety, like having both. We use Healthy Minds data, by the way, but it has doubled since 2013. So, so and so we see more students experiencing the symptoms. It's not just happening in college, though we've there's been an increase of depression and anxiety and high school, but it is. So the COVID certainly made things harder. And I know it's a sign of the times there are stressful things going on in the Yeah, yeah, the economy. And COVID was just hard for everyone. But there's hope people can feel better. They can do therapy, they can, if needed, take medication, they can exercise, it's not going to cure depression, but it certainly helps really. I was gonna say one other thing, though, related to the depression and anxiety. I think the biggest problem of COVID was the social isolation where kids were, for safety reasons. And we didn't know how to handle COVID like students, high school and college students were often isolated. And that in that instance, their social skills fell behind. They were lonely loneliness can increase anxiety and depression. And what's interesting is now they're back. They're in class, they're interacting. But they're having some more anxiety about the interactions. It feels different. And I think it's the same for people outside of college.
Hannah Choi 21:47
Oh, absolutely
Marcia Morris, MD 21:48
We're all adjusting. So but so, I'm a big supporter of therapy, individual, group therapy. And I think I want to encourage students to take advantage of those resources, whether it's on campus or off campus to deal with any, like strong feelings of depression and anxiety. And that would be like the first line of treatment before going to medication. Yeah.
Hannah Choi 22:15
Yeah. And and every campus out there is going to have some kind of support center for students. And it can be hard to take that first step of making the phone call or going and walking in the door, but or maybe it's virtual, maybe it can be held virtually now. Do you guys do virtual, which can make it easier?
Marcia Morris, MD 22:39
Yes. During the, during the first year of the COVID pandemic, I was doing 100% virtual psychiatry, working from home. Yeah, I'm back in the office. But what is very interesting to me, is that a lot of students like the virtual, you're good at technology, if they don't want to drive across to the apartment and deal with parking. Yeah, they might be. I sometimes work with medical students, they're on rotations. They can go into an office and do their session and then go back to work. In my opinion that telehealth has been a silver lining of the pandemic where we've we've improved those resources.
Hannah Choi 23:25
So if a student or if a parent feels like their child, or a student feels like they want to take advantage of therapy on campus, who would be their first person to go to?
Marcia Morris, MD 23:39
They should call the counseling center on campus directly. And then they would generally they either might speak with someone on the phone or see someone. And what's happened on a lot of campuses, the therapy is tended to be more short term. It does vary from campus to campus, so some will do long term therapy. So this, the student needs to maybe go on the website, see what the services are, and decide what what they need. So it might be doing some short term therapy on campus in transitioning off campus or doing a telehealth kind of therapy or psychiatry. I like one of the things I like about my job on campus in particular is I get to see students from freshman year and is through. Yeah, it was psychiatry, it's hard to do short term treatment because they might be on medicine for a while, right. So so we really they really do need, you know, consistent follow up. But I do think also some students would benefit from long term therapy and I would like to see campuses make that more available to students. I know the resources are limited and they're being stretched, but I think it's so important for young adults to get therapy early on to prevent problems getting more serious. So I'd like to see more access to both therapy and psychiatry on campus. And if not on campus, and even through through community mental health centers with affordable resources, I think, nationally, we need to really get young adult mental health improved.
Hannah Choi 25:23
Absolutely, I completely agree.
Marcia Morris, MD 25:26
But, but parents can get involved in trying to figure out what where the resources are. And because it's, if you're depressed, it's hard to kind of work through situations. And the other thing I wanted to mention is a lot of campuses have a case manager, who might be may or may not be a social worker, but they can cut, they can help the student connect with resources. Sometimes the case manager is in the counseling center. Sometimes it's might be in the Dean of Students Office. But there's each campus runs a different site, it's very, very as you work varies tremendously. But if you need to find a helper to connect you, that's the key to and the parent can be critical in that process.
Hannah Choi 26:15
And so you mentioned medication, how does? How do how do medications come into play here, and how can parents support their child if they either are on medication already, or might need to look, go down that path.
Marcia Morris, MD 26:30
One way they can support the students is if they're coming to school on medicine, to try to facilitate them having continuous treatment, because one of the worst things that can happen, especially with antidepressants is stopping the medicine. Right? If someone wants to come off of a medicine, they need to taper slowly and work with a provider. So continuity of care is extremely important when they're coming to college. The other issue is the sometimes parents have doubts about the need for medicine, or they worry about side effects. And with antidepressants, by the way, there is a blackbox warning, talking about increased risk of suicidal behavior. Teenagers up until 25. The study showed that the concerning time is really under 18. But nonetheless, occasionally, when a young adult starts any antidepressant they can have kind of new suicidal thinking. So the important thing is, let's say a parent is said I don't want says to the child, I really feel uncomfortable with you starting any antidepressant, it's worthwhile to ask the child to say, you know, let's all meet with the psychiatrist so I can learn about how these medicines work. And know like we have an on-call system. So if the students having a problem, they can reach us, we're not just going to hand them a medicine and say there you go! We don't do that. But what we do do is that we do have follow up visits with the student and more at the beginning to see how are you feeling on this medicine? Are you having side effects? Is this the right dose, and I increase medicine very slowly, because you do not want to cause side effects in college students affecting concentration or energy level. So So parents, if they're having worries about the medicine, or even if they feel the student is not doing well, on the medicine can say, I want you to let the psychiatrist know that you need you need to call your psychiatrist or I'd love to meet with you and this psychiatrist because I'm observing things that concern me. But again, don't stop the medicine.
Hannah Choi 28:50
That's really, that's the takeaway. And then that reminds me of like, I had a client who one thing that we were working on was making sure that he had reminders and a system to help him remember to get his refill, so that that wouldn't happen. And so that can be something that has to be learned to by the student.
Marcia Morris, MD 29:14
And and you're bringing up, right. And also in the past, the parents might have picked up. The student has to, and there's an issue coming up now and hopefully it's getting better, but there's an Adderall. Sure. Yeah,
Hannah Choi 29:28
I read about that. Yeah.
Marcia Morris, MD 29:30
So what we're doing now with students is we're saying make sure you fill the prescription right on time. And then sometimes we end up calling around to pharmacies to see where they haven't. I hope that's gonna get better soon. And what we usually are able to find it's at somewhere, but that can be a challenge. And so let's say a student goes to the pharmacy and they don't have the Adderall they need to call the psychiatrist and sometimes there's a psychiatric nurse practitioner and my thought, like, if you need to call the clinic and say, I'm facing this challenge do I've called a few pharmacies, they don't have it, can you tell me where to go? Or what to do?
Hannah Choi 30:15
Yeah. And so that's something that comes up a lot for college students is learning how to ask for help take advantage of resources. And it's and it's okay to ask for help. And there are people out there that really want to support you. So that's a good example of you might have to do that.
Marcia Morris, MD 30:34
Yeah, right. And, and even for my patients, sometimes, though, they might be having a side effect. But they might wait to tell me until the next appointment, I said, you can feel free to call and we've structured our clinics. So nurses will take the preliminary call and then let let us know if there's something serious going on. So you know, we tried, we try to, you know, have a team of resources, we even train our support staff to kind of figure out where to triage different calls. That's good. And yeah, we have a really, I'm really happy with the team I work with there. It's it's a very caring team. And that's also Yeah, important to make sure your student is working with a group of people or one person who seems to, you know, care.
Hannah Choi 31:20
Yeah. And then that goes back again to getting in early and meeting with the people in that office and getting to know that team and having them get to know you and your child and making sure that you that they are familiar with your case. And it can just really help in times of crisis, I imagine definitely.
Marcia Morris, MD 31:42
I will add one more last thing about medicine, for antidepressants, which actually treat both depression and anxiety. The question often is asked, How long will my child be on this medicine, it's pretty hard to predict. But I can say that I've had students who, let's say, have pretty bad anxiety and depression. And they do a good course of what we call cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the gold standard treatment for depression and anxiety. And sometimes after a good course of therapy and making life changes, like finding the right major, finding the right friend group, they find they can taper off of the medicine, but with the help of a psychiatrist, and I've seen that happen. The important thing is, though, generally, if someone's on an antidepressant, they they stay on it for approximately nine months to a year, because that's the timeframe it takes to have a full recovery, particularly from depression. Okay, so, so but but it doesn't have to mean forever. It really doesn't. Because I know, and I'm sorry about that.
Hannah Choi 31:42
Yeah, I was gonna say that I'm sure that's comforting to parents who are concerned about their child being on medication, that it's not a forever thing.
Marcia Morris, MD 32:37
And the only time it might, it's might be forever as if someone has a more severe mental health problem, like severe bipolar disorder. Sometimes that requires lifelong medicine. And that's about 1% of the population, but, but when people do well, you can keep them on lower doses, and they'll have fewer side effects and utilize therapy along with it, though, you can do it the way in that people can function and not feel overmedicated.
Hannah Choi 33:40
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, find like, again, finding that balance, and making sure that the choices that the life choices that they're making, in addition to medication are also being supportive, which reminds me you just said something about a friend group. And it reminds me of a client of mine once who had a friend group that that was, was not a healthy friend group for her. And, and so and so she changed her friend group and now and you know, and then ended up having a much better experience. And that makes me think about the social experience of kids in college. And how important that is,
Marcia Morris, MD 34:20
It is equally important to the academic experience is all about your social development, deciding which friends you want to hang out deciding which romantic partners you want to be with, and learn and learning how to deal deal with people in difficult situations. And having fun, I mean, college should be fun, too. It shouldn't be a total grind. It is hard. I mean I I studied pretty hard in college, but I also had some fun. And so it's important for students to find the activities they enjoy. It might be intramural sports, it might be going to to church or temple or a mosque, it, it might be. I'm trying to think of the interesting groups, I think there was an acrobatics group one time. You know, like,
Hannah Choi 35:13
There's something for everyone,
Marcia Morris, MD 35:15
Some of the clubs, but but it you have to find something, it's important to have fun. And that's, that's, it's just part of life, we should all have fun. But maybe do your studying during the weekend, have fun on the weekends, don't have fun, every won't be able to you know, pass your classes. School should be fun. I think the academic part there should be joy in the academics too. And it's it's important to find what you really like. And so if you're, you know, kind of pre med and you're think that's what I should do, but you say, I really liked this. It's a long, four years undergrad and four years of medical school and four years of residency to like,
Hannah Choi 36:00
yeah, that's a long time. It's really,
Marcia Morris, MD 36:03
But it's really important to find things you enjoy. And I think parents worry of my kid majors in English or history, they're not going to get a job. But in reality, kids get jobs doing social media for companies after graduation when they're majoring in English. It's so interesting, all the different things they do post graduation, but I think it's important to find a major you enjoy it, but still go to a Career Resource Center started. Yeah, as a sophomore beginning of junior year and start planning. Okay, I love this major. But here's I'm also going to think about a job after school. Or maybe it might be graduate school.
Hannah Choi 36:43
Yeah, I was just thinking, Gosh, I don't think I went to the Career Center once when I should have done that. I'm very happy with my, my career, how it all worked out.
Marcia Morris, MD 36:53
Imagine, you know, with the experience I have working with students with my kids, I said you need to go found me a little too much sometimes, but it kind of helped to you. In terms of your that you have this resource on your campus? Use it take advantage of it.
Hannah Choi 37:11
Yeah, yep. I, whenever I start working with a college student, I always say to them, okay, yes, you're in, you're in college for academics. But let's make it so that your academics are, you know, as not easy as possible. But let's figure out ways systems, let's build systems, so that you have more time for your socializing, because you're right. I mean, yes, college is about academics, but it really is also about finding about who you are as a person, and learning social skills and learning the kind of people that you'd like to be around and the kind of people you need to avoid, and learning how to ask for help and become part of a group and how to function in a group. And you can't learn all that if you just do the academic. And so you need to leave time for the, that social aspect.
Marcia Morris, MD 37:46
And studies actually, so show that a sense of social belonging on campus is correlated with better grades. So parents who were worried about that say, yeah, they might actually say have time to restore themselves and have some fun. They might do better academically.
Hannah Choi 38:24
Yes, yes. Yep. And that's why it's so and also how you said, the adding joy to your academics, and finding something that works for you. Yes, you're gonna have to take classes that that are in your major, that that don't work for you. But if you can build systems, and figure out the tools and the strategies that you need to use to make it more bearable to get through those classes, take advantage of your resources can just make it everything so much more enjoyable. Yeah, great. Well, thank you so much. Is there anything else that you'd like to add that we didn't cover today?
Marcia Morris, MD 39:01
Yes, one one last thing. When your child is applying to colleges, again, take a close look and see what kind of what kind of coping skills they have where they thrive. Because some kid I have, I have one child who went to a small private college I have another tiles we went to a large state school because their needs were different. And they both they thrived in the those settings they were the right settings for them. So that's important as you're in that you can you know often work with the guidance counselor at school it's now popular and a high hire people to help with the whole application process. But if you do hire someone, find someone who's not just looking at all the best school your kid will get. Yeah, really look at your child and see where they're going to thrive. And um, the the last so I'm talking about kind of getting into school and I just also want to talk About the exit from school that yeah, that can be tricky time too. And sometimes the challenge is some kinds of classes for certain majors like engineering can get super hard at the very end, there might be a design project where you have to develop this whole system. And so that's a time to check in with your child to and see how they're doing. Because for some kids that last year can be pretty stressful, stressful, and there can be some tough classes to get into. And the other stress is for kids who haven't figured out what they want, right? Might want to go to medical school, but haven't fulfilled the requirements, help your child calm down and say, Listen, you can do a gap year you can apply to med school or another graduate school, you don't have to go go straight to grad school. So kind of paying attention to the transition into college. And the transition out is really, those are kind of tricky times where kids might need more support.
Hannah Choi 41:00
And also helping helping kids realize that you don't have to follow the sort of traditional path that, that you feel like everyone else is following and because not everyone is following it and not and that's not the right path for everyone. And yeah, and taking the time to figure out what what would be best for me and what would be best for my happiness. And I have a friend who he did two years of college, and then he took a few years off, and now he's back as a student in his later 20s. And he's loving it so much more. He's having a completely different experience than he did when he was in his late teens and early 20s. And he's so glad that he didn't follow that sort of traditional path of you know, finishing the four years. And so it's, it's, and I've heard that from multiple people.
Marcia Morris, MD 41:51
Yeah, yeah. And also you have for parents take good care of yourself. Because one thing I've observed with young people, they're not going to open up to you, if they think you're stressed out, or you're going to take some deep breaths, reassure your kids, everything's gonna be okay, reassure yourself, everything's gonna be okay. But it's really important to stay calm, because your kid cares about you a lot, too, and they don't want to stress you out, but just can handle things, and you guys will work things out together.
Hannah Choi 42:22
Yeah, remember, I really liked how you address that in the book about how sometimes in your book, how sometimes kids will hold off on sharing something with their parents, because they they don't want to, you know, add out a burden to them or disappoint them or anything. And, and, yeah, and so that goes back to what we were talking before about maintaining that relationship with your child and the trust and keeping that rapport. It's so important.
Marcia Morris, MD 42:52
You know, and who have been through grad school and you're in grad school, and that it's interesting, because the relationships continue. It's changes a lot as kids get into their late 20s. But that parent child relationship is really important. Yeah, we got to maintain the positive relationship.
Hannah Choi 43:11
Yeah, it's what I've talked about with with a number of our other guests on the podcast is how, like, different strategies to you know, keep that relationship and how just just being with your child validating, like you said earlier, and just letting them know that you're there if if they need you, and that it's okay to share. And yeah, it's, it's, it's, I keep hearing that from everyone that I'm talking to. So it's something that's worth putting effort into and trying so.
Well, thank you so much. It's just been a great conversation full of really good ideas. And I feel like there's a lot of like actionable advice in there for people. So yeah. And where can where can you mentioned a little bit in the beginning, but where can our listeners find you?
Marcia Morris, MD 44:01
Well, I have a website, and my name is spelled Marcia M-a-r-c-i-a, but MarciaMorrismd.com. And my book, the campus cure is available on Amazon and other websites. But it's easiest to get it through Amazon. And I'm also if you Google college wellness Psychology Today, you can see my blog, I'm having a new blog coming out and it probably this weekend called "Dear College Student, You Deserve to Be Happy. You know, I want college students to be able to find joy in their experience, even though times are challenging right now.
Hannah Choi 44:46
That's wonderful. Yeah. Life is life is more fun with joy in it. Yes. All right. Well, thank you, Marcia.
Marcia Morris, MD 44:53
Right. It's great talking with you, Hannah.
Hannah Choi 44:56
Yes, you too. And That's our show for today. Be sure to check out the show notes for links to Marcia's resources, plus some more that I found to share with you. Thank you for taking time out of your day to listen, I hope you found my conversation with Marcia helpful. I know I will be listening again when it's time for my daughter to go off to college. We hope to help as many people as we can with the important conversations we have on focus forward. So please share our podcast with your colleagues, your friends and your family. You can subscribe to focus forward on Apple and Google podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else you get your podcasts. If you listen on Apple podcasts or Spotify, you can give us a boost by giving us a five star rating. Sign up for our newsletter at beyond booksmart.com/podcast and we'll let you know when new episodes drop and we'll share information related to the topic. Thanks for listening
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