Ep 170 – Stop Worrying What Other People Think of You

Sep 9, 2024

They explore how fear of judgment stops people speaking up and dilutes what they say. They unpack common meeting anxieties and how bias fuels self-doubt. They explain mind-reading and negativity bias and remind listeners colleagues are mostly thinking about themselves. They offer simple reframes, post-meeting learning practices and a focus on adding value rather than self-judgment.

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INSIGHT

Worry Drains Performance And Dilutes Contributions

Worrying about what others think wastes mental energy and reduces performance at work.
Carla Miller notes it causes sleepless replay of conversations, diluted contributions, and softened feedback that leaves meetings poorer.

ANECDOTE

Real Stories Of Women Freezing In Meetings

Carla shares examples from her Influence and Impact group of smart women who avoid speaking because of fear.
Members report worries like sounding blunt, being wrong, not up to date, or not expressing thoughts well.

INSIGHT

Mind Reading Is Fear Making Stories Real

We can't read minds so our brains invent negative stories that feel real due to a negativity bias.
Carla uses the acronym fear = false expectations appearing real to show imagined outcomes become self-limiting beliefs.

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Do you worry about what other people think of you?

Perhaps it stops you contributing in meetings for fear of judgement from others.

Or keeps you awake replaying conversations in your head feeling like you said something wrong.

Or it means when you’ve got something challenging to say you water it down to the point where you’re barely making a point anymore.

If any of that sounds familiar then keep listening because in this short episode I’m going to give you some insights and strategies you can use to reduce those worries and allow you to perform at your best at work.

This is the third in a series of three podcasts this summer around mindset so if you’ve not already listened to episode 166 on overcommitting and episode 168 on people pleasing do bookmark those to listen to.

One of the most powerful things you can do is learn how to say no which is why I’ve created my free How To Say No challenge which will take you from saying yes and regretting it to feeling comfortable saying no in just 5 days. Head over to carlamillertraining.com/sayno to access that.

My name’s Carla Miller, leadership coach, author, trainer and founder of Women Leading, the community that helps women lead without overwhelm. I’m on a mission to empower women leaders in the workplace and make leading less lonely.

And this is the Influence & Impact podcast for women leaders, helping you confidently navigate the ups and downs of leadership and feel less alone on your journey as a leader. In fortnightly episodes I share practical tools and insights from myself and my brilliant guests that will help you succeed in your career.

FREE RESOURCE - How To Say No Challenge:

If you struggle to say ‘no’ then this free 5 day challenge is for you. You get a short email containing a short video each day, taking you through the 5 steps of my How To Say No framework. We’ll get you happily saying no in just 5 days.

Access it at carlamillwertraining.com/sayno

Influence & Impact:

Join the September cohort of Influence & Impact to learn how to tackle self-doubt, increase your impact and become brilliant at influencing. It’s a small cohort working closely with me and includes 6 workshops and 2 peer coaching sessions.

Find out more at https://carlamiller.co.uk/influence

Women Leading:

You can now join over 40 women in Women Leading for just £49 a month and learn to lead without overwhelm. It includes peer support calls, group coaching calls, regular menopause events and a live leadership or wellbeing workshop each month on topics including…