Dr. Maya Shankar: Does Change Make You Feel Lost Or Uncertain? (Use THIS Framework To Find Direction Again and Use Change to Upgrade Your Life!)

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Feb 11, 2026

Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and author who studies decision-making and resilience. She explores why change threatens identity and how tying worth to roles makes transitions destabilizing. Hear stories of loss and recovery. Learn about anchoring identity to your deeper why, practicing small discomforts to build resilience, and reframing loss as transformation.

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INSIGHT

Anchor Identity To Your Why

Change often threatens self-identity because we anchor worth to roles and outcomes.
Anchor identity to your deeper "why" so loss of a role doesn't erase your value.

ANECDOTE

Childhood Career Loss Became New Path

Maya lost her violin career at 15 due to a sudden injury and felt like she lost herself.
She later redirected the underlying love for emotional connection into podcasts and writing.

ADVICE

Translate What You Loved Into New Actions

Ask yourself what you loved about the lost role and identify that underlying feature.
Then express that core reason through other activities that preserve your "why."

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We often think change will make sense once we get to the other side, but what if the real work of change is learning how to stay present in the uncertainty itself?

Today, Jay sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar to explore why unexpected change feels so threatening, and why losing what we thought our life would look like can feel like losing ourselves. From a career-ending injury early in her life to deeply personal losses later on, Maya reflects on how life’s unexpected turns can quietly reshape how we see ourselves, our worth, and our place in the world.

Maya explains that one of the biggest mistakes we make during change is tying our self-worth to roles, titles, or outcomes. When those fall away, it can feel deeply destabilizing. Instead, she invites us to root our identity in something more stable: our “why.” The deeper reasons behind what we love—connection, service, growth, creativity. When we stay connected to those, we can move through change without losing ourselves. Jay reflects on how often we seek external validation and why redefining success during loss is essential for resilience.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Handle Change You Didn’t Choose

How to Anchor Your Self-Worth Beyond External Success

How to Find Your “Why” When Life Falls Apart

How to Rebuild Yourself After a Dream Ends

How to Grow into the Person Change Is Shaping You To Be

If you’re going through a season of change right now, remember this: you’re not broken for struggling with it. Change is meant to shake us, to slow us down, and to make us question who we are beyond our titles, plans, and expectations.

A quietly powerful read about resilience and reinvention by Maya Shankar, The Other Side of Change invites you to meet yourself again when life takes an unexpected turn - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729180/the-other-side-of-change-by-maya-shankar/

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:11 How Change Has Shaped Your Life

04:52 Why Does Change Feel So Scary?

11:45 Why We Tie Our Identity to What We Do

16:25 What Awaits on the Other Side of Change

24:47 Using Self-Affirmation to Stay Grounded