TED Health How to raise kids who can handle hard things | Kathryn Hecht
Apr 28, 2026
Kathryn Hecht, a pediatric anxiety and OCD expert who practices exposure therapy, explains why letting kids face discomfort builds resilience. She defines exposure therapy as a bravery coach tool. Short, practical strategies include creating safe anxiety moments, encouraging brave actions, and celebrating progress. Stories and actionable steps show how learning to handle hard things fosters confidence for bigger challenges.
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Sammy's Bravery Ladder Beat His Bee Phobia
- Kathryn Hecht describes working with Sammy, an eight-year-old with a bee phobia who avoided outdoor activities.
- She built a bravery ladder from bee pictures to videos to a dead bee in a jar and finally real bees, earning points for real rewards.
Comforting Kids Can Reduce Their Ability To Cope
- Parenting for comfort (accommodation) teaches kids that hard feelings are emergencies and increases parental burden.
- Parenting for confidence builds 'handleability' by letting anxiety occur and using it with bravery to rewire safety via inhibitory learning.
Do Graded Exposure And Reward Brave Steps
- Create opportunities for anxiety through graded exposure, model bravery, and celebrate small brave actions to build confidence.
- Hecht asked Sammy's parents to resume summer activities, modeled going outside themselves, and rewarded brave steps with points and outings.