The Baggage Reclaim Sessions Ep. 225: Are We Giving or *Imposing*?
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May 14, 2021 A look at when well-meaning giving crosses other people’s boundaries. A clear distinction between voluntary generosity and imposing control. Hidden expectations in apologies and gifts that manipulate outcomes. How people-pleasing, ego and image can fuel harmful pursuit. Practical prompts to check your motives and channel generosity with respectful limits.
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Birthday Gift That Crosses A Boundary
- A birthday-gift example shows people plow ahead despite explicit 'no gifts' and then feel rejected when the recipient isn't grateful.
- Natalie Lue uses this common scenario to illustrate boundary blindspots in well-meaning givers.
Chasing An Ex Leads To Escalation
- A romantic breakup example shows one partner pursuing apologies and contact while the other withdraws and eventually blocks them.
- Natalie Lue recounts how repeated apologizing and chasing often escalates into being labeled obsessive or 'psycho'.
Hidden Contracts Behind Apologies
- Giving with hidden expectations becomes a contract rather than a gift, driven by wanting a specific response.
- Natalie Lue calls this a hidden contract where the giver expects gratitude or reconciliation in return.