How To Be a Terrible Daughter 028: The Field Guide to Common Neighborhood Narcissists
Not all narcissists look the same. Some are loud, shiny, and aggressively self-impressed, others are quiet, aggrieved, and somehow still manage to make every situation about themselves. In this episode, we break down both the obvious and the sneakier versions, from the classic grandiose type to the subtler subtypes that operate under the radar while quietly running the entire emotional economy of the family.
We also move into the darker end of the pool, including family dynamics where cruelty isn't a side effect but a feature. We talk about what happens when narcissism overlaps with traits like paranoia and sadism, and why some parents seem to genuinely enjoy watching their child squirm. We unpack the subtype that renders a child effectively invisible unless they are actively serving the parent's immediate needs, and how growing up that way trains you to disappear with impressive efficiency.
Along the way, we share more unhinged "Crazy Mom Offs," including a no-win gift situation and Megan's deeply uncomfortable lunch from hell, which somehow managed to be both polite and emotionally violent. We also talk about what it really takes to close loopholes in boundaries when you're done negotiating with people who treat rules like a fun intellectual challenge, and what finding real community can look like after years of being told you were unlikeable. Dark, validating, and a little too familiar, this episode connects a lot of uncomfortable dots you were probably trained not to look at too closely.
Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com!
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What We Cover In This Episode:
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Why it's vital to discuss the "flavors" of narcissism that aren't as obvious as the typical aggrandizing version [1:46]
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We defining the "Grandiose Narcissist", and how this person is the "vanilla" type of narcissist [5:09]
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Introducing the "Covert/Professional Victim" subtype that uses hypersensitivity and victimhood as a way to remain the center of attention [8:15]
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How the "Dark Triad" combination of psychopathy, sadism, and paranoia creates a truly dangerous family dynamic [14:11]
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The specific subtype that renders the child "invisible" unless they are actively serving the parent's immediate needs [29:11]
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More unbelievable "Crazy Mom Offs": A no-win gift giving situation and Megan's incredibly uncomfortable "lunch from hell" [32:47]
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Elizabeth's incredibly powerful tool of closing loopholes on boundaries and what Megan has done in her new home city to find true community while overcoming years of being told she was unlikeable by her mother [43:45]
Links & Resources:
Amsterdam Society of Feral Women - Email Megan for an Invite!
027: Brother, Sister, Soldier, Spy
Check Out Our New Etsy Shop (and Get Your Very Own ""Stay Sane, Stay Terrible" Merch!)