The Catholic Coaching Podcast 22. Why Buffering is a Barrier to Our Relationship With Jesus
Dec 15, 2020
They explore how everyday buffering behaviors like busy work, emotional eating, and drinking keep us from feeling unpleasant emotions. The hosts trace buffering to cultural habits and defensive patterns such as planning or passive aggression. Practical themes include spotting your buffers, fasting from them, and using prayer and Eucharist to restore authentic hunger for God.
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Buffering Is Avoiding Emotion With Behavior
- Buffering is a behavior we use to avoid or fix an emotion rather than address the underlying thought that created it.
- Erin and Matt define buffering (from Life Coach School) as actions in the A-line that try to solve emotions and therefore work opposite to how thoughts create feelings.
Matt's Planning Buffer Kills Momentum
- Matt buffers uncertainty with planning and research, which becomes passive action instead of moving a project forward.
- He spends time on spreadsheets, analytics, and 'busy work' instead of launching the pilot that would give real feedback.
How Hurt Turns Into Defense And Passive Aggression
- Matt buffers the feeling of hurt by becoming defensive, argumentative, or passive-aggressive instead of processing the hurt.
- He recognizes these behaviors (silent treatment, manipulation) as attempts to avoid feeling vulnerable pain.