Getting What You Want and Wanting What You Get | 099

Struggling to make a dent in your goals for the New Year again? Educator and coach Elizabeth Jurgensen explores with me how annual resolutions have turned rituals of renewal into rituals of failure, and outlines a more sustainable, grounded approach to change.

Tracing the surprising history of resolutions, she starts at their origins, millennia ago, in rituals centered on agriculture, responsibility, and community. Those practices evolved into our contemporary intention of making a fresh start with the incoming year. When we don’t become better versions of ourselves immediately, we see it as failure.

Elizabeth lays out how societal and familial conditioning steer us toward things we “should” want rather than those we genuinely desire, and how we get used to letting grief, shame, and regret drive our choices.

Many of us think of resolutions as punishment, atonement, or restitution. Elizabeth proposes that we break out of that mindset, focus on integration, and reframe the pursuit of goals as exploration and experimentation.

Using Elizabeth’s analogy of a garden, we discuss how transitions require patience, attention, and responsiveness to changing conditions. When we insist on rigid timelines, perfection, or outside expectations, we focus on the weeds. “Tending” things allows room for flexibility and compassion, and opens up more possibilities.

Key takeaway: Reaching our goals doesn’t mean starting over.

TESS’S TAKEAWAYS:

Internalized capitalism has turned self-improvement into a job.

All-or-nothing thinking leads to inconsistency, burnout, and self sabotage.

Desire-based goals have intrinsic drive.

Avoidance-based goals push energy to repression.

To figure out what you most desire, dwell in curiosity and possibility.

Progress framed as tending rather than fixing or achieving is more effective.

Rest, reflection, and integration are necessary transition points, not signs of failure.

Motivation increases when goals consider community impact, not just individual benefit.

ABOUT ELIZABETH JURGENSEN

With a thirst for learning and achieving, Elizabeth has had multiple careers applying herself to education, research, and disciplined practice.

Her post-college years were focused on the performing arts, as an actress and dancer. Moving to the corporate world, she got a business degree and worked in finance. Her next pivot was to work as a fitness instructor and wellness coach.

Discovering her love for academics, she went back to school, getting a Master’s degree in a new field and teaching college students.

Debilitating injuries from a car accident and ten years’ rehabilitation, made her work impossible, and brought Elizabeth to the next major phase of her life. She embraced somatics, exploring trauma healing, relational dynamics, and embodied awareness.

The values of slowing down and turning inward, and the gifts of deep presence and self-care became central to her philosophy. She pursues them as ends in themselves, not toward goal-oriented pursuits, nor in a commercial practice.

A certified somatic educator, Elizabeth integrates insights from ancient archetypes, women’s wisdom traditions, and the interplay of masculine and feminine energies. She shares what she knows in adaptive and informal ways to guide others.

MEET TESS MASTERS:

Tess Masters is an actor, presenter, health coach, cook, and author of The Blender Girl, The Blender Girl Smoothies, and The Perfect Blend, published by Penguin Random House. She is also the creator of the Skinny60® health programs.

Health tips and recipes by Tess have been featured in the LA Times, Washington Post, InStyle, Prevention, Shape, Glamour, Real Simple, Yoga Journal, Yahoo Health, Hallmark Channel, The Today Show, and many others.

Tess’s magnetic personality, infectious enthusiasm, and down-to-earth approach have made her a go-to personality for people of all dietary stripes who share her conviction that healthy living can be easy and fun. Get delicious recipes at TheBlenderGirl.com.

CONNECT WITH TESS:

Website: https://tessmasters.com/

Podcast: https://ithastobeme.com/

Health Programs: https://www.skinny60.com/

Delicious Recipes: https://www.theblendergirl.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theblendergirl/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theblendergirl/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/theblendergirl

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessmasters/

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