Attachment and fear: listener question

My whole life has been turned upside down since my divorce and I have recently become aware of an intense fear of abandonment 

that seems to be controlling all aspects of my life especially my relationships.  Also a deep fear has been uncovered that I do not want anyone to know my true feelings and self for fear of this rejection and abandonment. I cannot go on living this way and so desperate want to be free but it is not clear how and the control and hypervigilance continues.. it seems to be so wired in my body and I wake up in terror a lot. I love the teaching  and would like some insight on how to hold such strong feelings without perpetuating them and just let them be?