The Baggage Reclaim Sessions Ep. 285: Having Your Own Back: What Self-Advocacy Really Means
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Dec 27, 2024 Dive into the transformative journey of self-advocacy and discover what it truly means to have your own back. The discussion sheds light on the challenge of speaking up, especially when people-pleasing tendencies hold us back. It's about embracing discomfort, challenging societal norms, and asserting personal needs for healthier relationships. Real-life experiences highlight the necessity of establishing boundaries, particularly in difficult situations, underscoring that being 'difficult' can be vital for our well-being.
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Use Clear, Direct Phrases
- Name what you need and what is unacceptable using clear phrases like 'I don't have the bandwidth' or 'We need to talk about what happened.'
- Use direct statements to avoid being overridden or dismissed when you're at capacity.
Why We Fear Speaking Up
- People confuse advocating for themselves with being rude, difficult or needy due to socialisation into people-pleasing.
- Natalie links this to an 'age of obedience' that disassociated us from our authentic yeses and nos.
Don’t Expect Mind Reading
- Stop expecting people to be mind readers and speak up about what you need and expect.
- Advocate proactively to create healthier boundaries instead of hoping others will intuitively do the right thing.
