I know for me, when I fall in love, it’s so easy to want to share every little aspect of my day with my person, to let them see me experience fully, and keep me company throughout every second of it.
That said, no matter how well I share my experience, it doesn’t guarantee the other person will understand fully - as it’s not their own. So, when I am craving a deeper connection with my partner, instead of offering the same information as a way to let them in, I put offers out to them to encourage letting me in, instead. I ask questions, I listen, and I allow myself the space to join them where they are.
This practice not only helps me understand my partner more clearly, but it also puts the ball in my court - when it comes to feeling more deeply connected. When they show me them, it’s my choice to volley back with interest + respect. By making the choice to lean in and return the ball - it encourages them to continue sharing with me AND it makes me feel more aligned with them. Surprisingly, this fulfills that deep desire for connection in a way that doesn’t feel as challenging as asking others to fully understand every aspect of you in your current space. We are able to take control of the connection by digging deeper where it feels right and aiming to understand and love more fully - which is the whole damned point of connection in the first place.
By letting people show you their worlds - we are able to see them more clearly, as three dimensional, well-rounded human beings - rather than trapped in whatever boxes we created for them. By choosing to join them in their world, we connect more deeply with their values. This makes it easier to show up for them. It makes it easier to see them. And it makes it easier for them to feel seen by us.
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