Radio Headspace Grieving While Love Is Still Here
Mar 16, 2026
A reflective look at the subtle, anticipatory grief that can arise as loved ones age. Observations on grieving a past version of someone while they are still alive. A personal story about noticing small changes during a visit and choosing presence over avoidance. Thoughts on using mindfulness to soften clinging and meet change with care.
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First Visit That Revealed Anticipatory Grief
- Dora Kamau recounts her first visit with her mom in L.A. when subtle signs of aging—slower walk, softer voice, less energy—sank in during a hike they couldn't finish.
- The moment cracked open grief mixed with guilt, revealing she was mourning the version of her mom she expected to remain unchanged.
Love Isn't A Promise Of Permanence
- Dora notes we carry an unspoken assumption that love includes permanence, which makes change feel existentially disorienting when it arrives.
- Recognizing that nothing and no one belongs to us reframes grief as a response to broken guarantees, not personal failure.
Ask What They Enjoy Now
- Dora advises meeting loved ones as they are now by asking new, simple questions like What do you enjoy now and spending time in their current routines.
- She describes explicitly telling her mom about her grief, which opened honest connection and gratitude.