Parenting Teens Untangled - Realistic, science-backed teen & tween parenting advice Mobile phone photos/sexting, and money management using an allowance.
Our teens are growing up in a world of TikTok, You Tube and Instagram, places full of barely dressed people talking freely about body positivity and sex. It’s hardly surprising that they might have a different view of what’s acceptable from that of their parents.
In the UK, sex is legal at age 16, but any sexual images of a person under 18 are deemed child pornography, even when the person sending them is the creator.
Research compiled in the UK for Cultureframed.org:
1 in 7 under 18’s sends sext messages; 1 in 4 receives them. 1 in 8 who received a message has sent it to others without the sender’s consent.
Internet Watch Foundation, confirmed 68k cases of self-generated imagery that needed to be removed in 2020 – up 77% on the previous year.
In 80% of these cases, the victims were 11 to 13-year-old girls. Fewer than 8% of young women send nude pics because they genuinely want to.
Book: When You Lose It, Roxy and Gay Longworth.
Why do they sext?
- Seeking someone’s approval
- Long distance/online relationships, where there is a desire to have a sexual relationship
- Feeling confident in their looks and they want to share with other people
- Peer pressure
- Fun
- As a result of harassment, threats or blackmail
What to do?
Having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent. Use open questions, actively listen, and never be shocked.
- What do they post about themselves?
- What sites do they use and what draws them there?
- What types of attention are they looking for online and from whom?
- How do they decide what information to share?
Set clear guidelines and firewalls.
Boys?
Adolescent boys are under enormous pressure to impress their peers.
- Ask boys why they would feel entitled to ask for these photos, knowing the pitfalls.
- Ask them what pressures they feel from their friends and porn culture.
- Do they know that it’s illegal to disseminate or ask for nude images of under age people?
If something's happened:
- Speak to the school and parents of the other teenager to the get the material removed.
- The IWF can search for explicit images or videos of your child and remove them.
- Tell your girls about the #gurlsoutloud support hashtag.
- A free service to remove pictures of under 18’s online. https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/
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Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
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You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk