How to Overcome Destructive Anger with Natalie Hixson [Episode 79]

Natalie Hixson is a wife, mother, and certified professional life coach. Her goal is helping burnt out and discouraged Christian mothers overcome destructive anger so they can enjoy being a wife and mom. She, her husband, and three girls (ages 9, 12, and 16) live in Bozeman, Montana.

Key Points from this Episode:

• We can break the fear and yelling cycle in our lives.
• Remember that our children have developmentally-appropriate tantrums. We need to work on things to be able to, in turn, help our children with their struggles rather than throw our own, grown-up tantrums.
• Recognizing that you have destructive anger and are facing burnout is the first step to overcoming it. It's not a mindset you have to stay in.
• Reach out for help if you recognize you have destructive anger!
• What we say to ourselves becomes our beliefs. It's the story we are telling ourselves and we believe it and what we believe, we support with our actions and our thoughts.
• Our minds look to support our thoughts. If we focus on positive thoughts, our minds will look for supporting evidence.
• Circumstances do not trigger our actions. Circumstances trigger thoughts and feelings. Then we decide on our own actions.
• Look for what needs are not being met to diffuse situations more quickly.
• Work through the tough situations and MOVE ON. The current moment does not define our next moment.
• We can choose to highlight the good parts of motherhood to connect with others rather than the negative.
• Recognize the moment for what it is (positive or negative) and be grateful we are here to experience it.
• When you start to feel an emotion, take three deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Longer exhale than inhale. Physical reset to the nervous system. Send a prayer to God for help. I am statements: I am love. I am grateful.
• Write a list of things that are okay for your kids to do (even eating M&Ms or watching a show on an iPad) to give yourself the time you need to calm down. Then you can come back and work through the problem when you are no longer angry.