Ordo amoris in a terrible no-good homeschool day

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Maybe you start off homeschooling with grand visions and high hopes. Maybe you change your approach and your style and think that will fix the bad days and the bad attitudes.

It turns out that even in spite of best laid plans, principles, and practices, we’re teaching real children.

They don’t always like what they should. They don’t always want the true, good, and beautiful. Sometimes (oftentimes) they even complain.

What’s a homeschool mom to do?

Maybe you spot it in the sloppy work, or the sighs and slouching. Often the children are not reluctant to voice their opposition: They don’t like the book. They hate fractions. They don’t want to write an a that way.

And then you come upon those “inspiring” quotes at the end of a bad day:

The question is not, – how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education – but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? – Charlotte Mason

And you know you’re in trouble, because your child is certain he doesn’t care, not one bit.

In fact, maybe just that morning he muttered or even exclaimed, “I hate nature walks!” True story. It happens.

Have I failed? 

Is it time to give up?

No, not yet.

I haven’t failed. I just know what my task is now.

As both the mother and the teacher, it is our job to make our kids care.

Our job isn’t to help them pass tests or memorize facts or check boxes.

Our job is to make them care.

C.S. Lewis, Augustine, and Aristotle tell us it is so:

St. Augustine defines virtue as ordo amoris, the ordinate condition of the affections in which every object is accorded that kind and degree of love which is appropriate to it. Aristotle says that the aim of education is to make the pupil like and dislike what he ought.

It’s our aim. It’s our job, not a byproduct we hope for, but what we’re trying to do.

And it’s oh so much harder than checking boxes, isn’t it?

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