Spotlight | When Kids Carry Adult Pain: A Conversation with Tommy Herschell

Children feel the impact of separation long before they can explain it and many carry those early wounds into adulthood.

In this episode, I'm joined by Tommy Herschell, founder of Find Ya Feet, to explore what can happen for kids during a family breakdown and how those early experiences can shape boys and men for decades.

Tommy shares his own story, his parents' separation when he was 10 years old, the years of self-blame, and the emotional crash in his mid-30s that forced him to face what he'd been carrying. We talk about how unspoken pain shows up in kids' behaviour, why emotional safety matters, and the patterns that often follow boys into adulthood.

We also touch on what parents can do differently during separation, including: – communicating without overwhelming – staying respectful about the other parent – modelling emotional regulation – protecting kids from adult burdens

This conversation is raw, grounded, and full of insight about what children feel but rarely say and what it takes to help them find their feet again.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going: Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.

Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.

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Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.

Guest: Tommy Herschel Founder of Find Ya Feet

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This podcast's audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.

This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.

Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.

Disclaimer

I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.