#11: Arrival Fallacy

This episode we discuss Arrival Fallacy - the illusion that once we “make it,” once we attain our goal or reach our destination, we will achieve lasting happiness. The term was coined by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. in his book, Happier.

We discuss:

• What Arrival Fallacy is, and it’s distant relative, Summit Syndrome
• The Happiness Quadrants (and where you want to spend most of your time)
• Rat race
• Hedonism
• Nihilism
• Happiness Quadrant
• Tips to enjoy the journey, including
• Stop saying “I’ll be happy when [x]...”
• Start lighting it up
• Focus on what’s going right
• Celebrate along the way
• Concentrate on your relationships

Quotables

• “You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks a light in you.” -Alexander den Heijer
• Start lighting it up!
• Today, if you don’t know what your hobbies are, start dreaming.
• As long as you know you’re going in the right direction, you’re going to get there.
• If we can be mindful of those pleasant moments and really savor them, they can help carry us along as we endure unpleasantries.
• We can learn how to absorb positive experiences.
• What we really need is to be able to soak in stuff that’s more positive.
• There’s so much going right all the time.
• So we celebrate along the way. We can mourn along the way as well. All those things together will help us to find happiness in our journey.
• The number one predictor of happiness is the quality tie we spend with people we care about and who care about us. (From Tal Ben-Shahar)
• Happiness is the journey, not the destination. (Attributed to a lot of people including Ralph Waldo Emerson, Buddha, & Mahatma Gandhi)

References: 

• Happiness Quadrants
• Alexander den Heijer
• Ben-Shahar, Tal. Happier. New York, McGraw-Hill, 2007
• Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
• Wellness 911- You've Arrived: Why Aren't You Happier? (Dinsmore, Amanda MD; Cazier, Laura MD; Morrison, Kendra DO. Emergency Medicine News: April 2022 - Volume 44 - Issue 4 - p 30. doi: 10.1097/01.EEM.0000827728.91293.5a)

 

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