TED Health Why venting doesn’t help you deal with anger | Jennifer Parlamis
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Jan 6, 2026 Jennifer Parlamis, a social and organizational psychologist known for her insights on anger regulation, challenges the myth that venting helps with anger. Instead, she reveals that venting often intensifies feelings. Parlamis shares fascinating research showing that low-arousal activities like breathing can effectively reduce anger. She also presents four practical tools for managing anger in relationships, emphasizing curiosity over catharsis. Get ready to rethink your approach to emotional outbursts and strengthen your connections!
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Stroller Story Reveals Assumptions
- Jennifer Parlamis describes getting angry about her husband pushing a stroller with one hand and venting to friends without relief.
- Discovering her father's similar stroller style led her to ask, "What don't I know?" and revise her assumptions.
Anger Is Built By Our Explanations
- Anger is constructed by the brain via causal attributions rather than simply 'happening' to us.
- Internal controllable attributions make anger grow through a self-reinforcing cycle of blame.
Venting Rehearses Blame
- Verbal venting often fails because it rehearses the same internal attributions that created the anger.
- Venting to the offender can sometimes lower anger because it prompts fewer internal controllable attributions.