Encore: Is there a cheating gene?

Mar 10, 2026

Kate Legge, journalist and author of Infidelity and Other Affairs, investigates decades of affairs in her family and her husband’s line. She recounts the garage revelation, a road trip to Broken Hill, intergenerational patterns, reasons people cheat, and the messy work of forgiveness and rebuilding trust. Short, candid, and curious.

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insights

INSIGHT

Exposure To Infidelity Raises Repeat Risk

Small studies suggested children exposed to family infidelity are more likely to repeat the behaviour later.
Kate found this research in 2017 and used it to justify investigating intergenerational patterns in Greg's family.

insights

INSIGHT

Nature And Nurture Both Explain Generational Affairs

Kate argues intergenerational infidelity can be explained by both modelling (nurture) and possible genetic predispositions (nature).
She notes seeing common personality traits — sociability, drive, profligacy — across generations that may fuel pursuit of gratification.

insights

INSIGHT

Women Now Affair Rates Rise With Independence

Kate challenges the stereotype that men are far more prone to affairs, saying women now have equal opportunity and do have affairs often.
She links rising female infidelity to financial independence and reduced stigma.

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Present relationship with Greg and book origins

01:13 • 3min

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The garage revelation and immediate shock

04:00 • 3min

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Multiple affairs and the choice to stay

07:16 • 2min

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Public collapse and coping with shame

08:55 • 2min

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Investigating intergenerational infidelity

10:48 • 2min

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How common infidelity is and gender myths

12:30 • 2min

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Reasons people have affairs

14:47 • 3min

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Honesty, trust breakdown and recovery

17:52 • 38sec

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Writing about family darkness

18:30 • 2min

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Kate's volatile childhood and mother

20:43 • 5min

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Mental illness, family papers and Yeats

25:41 • 3min

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Meeting Greg and journalism culture

28:19 • 2min

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Wedding awkwardness and family tension

30:44 • 50sec

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How Greg's mother discovered the affair

31:34 • 2min

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Earlier generation scandal and its impact

33:53 • 4min

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Traits, reward circuitry and predisposition

38:21 • 3min

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Road trip to Broken Hill and ancestral interviews

41:01 • 2min

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Forgiveness, acceptance and healing

42:36 • 3min

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Why she wrote the book and public value

45:19 • 3min

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Life after infidelity and new perspective

Infidelity and Other Affairs

Kate Legge

Kate Legge combines memoir, reportage and family history to trace recurrent infidelity across four generations in her husband’s family while reflecting on her own childhood and marriage. She investigates the causes and consequences of affairs, drawing on interviews, archival research and psychological studies to explore nature versus nurture, personality traits, and social contexts. The book balances candid personal narrative of betrayal and recovery with broader discussion of how secrecy, passion and family patterns shape relationships. Legge also examines forgiveness and acceptance as potential paths toward healing, offering readers insight into the moral and emotional complexity of infidelity. Through her exploration, she aims to help others recognise patterns and find ways to understand or salvage relationships.

The Circus Animals' Desertion

W.B. Yeats

‘The Circus Animals’ Desertion’ is a reflective late poem by W. B. Yeats in which the poet considers the sources of his earlier imaginative energy and the decline of artistic invention with age. Yeats uses the image of discarded circus animals to meditate on how poetic subjects emerge from ordinary or discarded materials, culminating in the famous image of the 'foul rag-and-bone shop of the heart. ' The poem mixes elegiac tones with ironical self-awareness as the poet confronts the limitations and origins of his work. It is celebrated for its striking metaphors and its meta-poetic commentary on creativity and memory. The poem has become a notable part of Yeats’s late oeuvre and is frequently anthologised and discussed in studies of modern poetry.

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The Evolution of Flavor and How It Made Us Human

Monica Sanchez

Rob Dunn

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Conversations With Friends

Sally Rooney

The book follows Frances, a 21-year-old college student and aspiring writer, and her best friend Bobbi, as they navigate their relationships with an older married couple, Melissa and Nick. The novel delves into themes of youthful idealism, the challenges of intimacy, and the intricacies of human connections. Frances's inability to be vulnerable and her complex relationships with Bobbi, Nick, and Melissa form the core of the narrative, highlighting the tensions and misunderstandings that arise from their interactions. Rooney's writing is praised for its sharp dialogue, insightful character observations, and its exploration of modern romance and friendship.

The man who loved children

Christina Stead

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Anna Karenina

Leo Tolstoy

Published in 1878, 'Anna Karenina' is a novel by Leo Tolstoy that delves into the complexities of Russian society in the late 19th century. The story centers around the extramarital affair between Anna Karenina, a married socialite, and Count Alexei Kirillovich Vronsky, which scandalizes the social circles of Saint Petersburg. The novel also follows the parallel story of Konstantin Levin, a wealthy landowner, and his struggles with marriage, faith, and managing his estate. Tolstoy explores a wide range of themes including love, loyalty, betrayal, hypocrisy, and the differences between rural and urban life. The novel is known for its detailed character development and its profound commentary on the human condition.

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Madame Bovary

Gustave Flaubert

Published in 1857, 'Madame Bovary' is a seminal work of literary realism that tells the story of Emma Bovary, a beautiful and intelligent young woman who marries Charles Bovary, a dull and unambitious doctor. Emma's life is marked by boredom, romantic fantasies, and a series of ill-fated love affairs with men like Rodolphe and Léon. Her inability to distinguish between her romantic ideals and the harsh realities of her life leads to financial ruin, public scandal, and ultimately, her tragic demise. The novel is renowned for its masterful writing, detailed psychological insights, and its critique of bourgeois provincial life.

It was a Sunday night in the garage of their family home when journalist and author Kate Legge found out her husband of 30 years had been cheating on her for decades.

After a downward spiral as she came to terms with the news, the two of them took a road trip to Broken Hill to investigate the four generations of cheaters in his family line.

The process led Kate to look into the murky waters of how love was expressed in her own family, with an intellectually frustrated mother who could be surprisingly cruel.

This episode was produced by Alice Moldovan and the Executive Producer was Carmel Rooney.

It covers topics including marriage, divorce, cheating, infidelity, relationships, alcohol, lies, counselling, research, memoir, family history, writing, psychology.

Further information

Infidelity and Other Affairs is published by Thames and Hudson

Kate Legge's new book coming out in April is series of essays on food and friendship called Delicious, published by Allen and Unwin.

To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

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