The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast CNLP 791 | Why Church Dating Advice No Longer Works: JJ and Kait Tomlin on the Realities Single Christians Face
8 snips
Mar 12, 2026 JJ Tomlin, offering candid male perspective on modern dating, and Kait Tomlin, founder of Heart of Dating and dating coach, unpack how dating has changed for Christian singles. They talk about app culture, purity-culture hangovers, attraction beyond looks, healthy timelines, and what churches should actually do to support singles. Short, direct, and surprisingly practical.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
How A Zoom Galentine's Call Led To Marriage
- JJ met Kait on a Zoom Galentine's event where he joined a blind-date icebreaker and then asked to be set up.
- Kait was initially busy with multiple casual dates and hesitant, but accepted a FaceTime date that began their relationship.
Depressurize Dating In Your Community
- Depressurize dating so asking someone out feels low-stakes and normal.
- Encourage churches to teach that a date is a 60-minute hangout to gather data, not a marriage proposal, so people keep showing up afterward.
Rename And Reframe First Dates
- Normalize low-pressure first dates in church: call them coffee, tacos, or hangouts and make expectations clear.
- Teach singles it's okay to go on dates that don't lead to relationship and still attend church together afterward.
